What Is True Intimacy?

Being intimate involves the mixing of our life with another, a mingling of souls, a sharing of hearts. This is something that we all long for because that is how God made us. We were designed to connect. It requires openness, honesty, and transparency – the ability to share our true selves and have security knowing that we are loved and accepted just the way we are despite our imperfections. This is true intimacy.
Sex can be the most intimate and beautiful expression of love within the boundaries of marriage, but we are lying to ourselves when we think that sex is proof of love. How many men do you know that demand sex as proof of love and how many women give in to sex in hopes of getting love?
Real intimacy does not come by merely coming together in sex. Many couples go to bed at night sharing their bodies but feel lonely because they don’t share their hearts. You see sex is not the source of love; it’s merely an expression of it. And no matter how hard you try, if real emotional and spiritual intimacy does not take place before sex, it probably won’t after.
True intimacy begins with your relationship with God first. This relationship is the foundation for all healthy relationships. When you let the living God be the ultimate source of intimacy and love in your life, you won’t fall for the pitfalls of settling for relationships devoid of emotional and spiritual intimacy that leave your heart longing and unsatisfied. When you are connected to the true source of intimacy, His love will fill the longing of your heart freeing you to engage in love based mutually satisfying relationships instead of need-based relationships where you demand others to fill a void only God can fill, satisfy and make whole.

 

Please follow and like us:

The Ripple Effects of Bitterness

“Bitterness is like a rock thrown into a placid pond; After its initial splash it sends out circular ripples that affect the whole pond. It starts with ourselves, expands to our spouse, then to our children, friends, and anyone we come in contact with.” (Pastor & Dr. Chuck Lynch)

People hurt, mistreat, abuse, abandon and betray us.

God sees and validates our pain. But he also tells us to pursue peace so that we do not fall short of His grace and let bitterness take root to defile us.

Bitterness comes when we hold on to hurt and refuse to forgive those who have hurt us. It affects everything around us and causes us to have a hardened heart. We can even take on a victim mentality where we feel constantly wronged by others. It will pollute our overall view of the world and affects how we treat people.

No matter what we are not entitled to our sinful responses to how others have hurt us. Doing so only causes separation between God, ourselves and others. We can’t change people or make them see the error of their ways but God can. But we can take our wounded hearts, bitterness, and unforgiveness to the one who has shown us how to love mercy instead of demanding justice.

Bitterness hinders repentance and forgiveness in relationships. The cure for bitterness starts with our hearts. It’s not something we do flippantly or dismissively without considering the cost of the sin committed against us, its effects and the wounds left behind.

Ask Jesus to help you process the hurts and choose to forgive. You will then have a beautiful gift to offer others – true forgiveness from the heart. A heart that says what you did to me hurt me deeply, but I choose to forgive you and release you from a debt you cannot repay just as my precious Jesus forgave me and released me from mine.

Please follow and like us:

The Greatest Human Need

The greatest human need is for love. It’s a legitimate need placed in us by our creator. When this need is not met it can create a void so deep we go through life trying to fill it. It causes us to crave the approval and acceptance of others and drives us to engage in imbalanced relationships where we attach to unhealthy, emotionally unavailable people who often abuse and mistreat us.

We will often compromise our morals, values, and beliefs for fear of losing them.This creates a vicious cycle of feeling used, devalued, unappreciated, victimized opening the door to bitterness, resentments, unforgiveness, and hopelessness.

The only way to stop the cycle is to get a healthy dose of real love – the love of Jesus. Love seeks the highest good for another. Our Savior demonstrated this perfectly at the cross. We will never be able to engage in healthy relationships unless we receive the fullness of God’s love. Only His love satisfies.

If you are desperately seeking the love and approval of those who continually hurt you it may be a sign that you have not encountered the Love of Jesus in your heart where you see yourself as He sees you – A precious child of the Living God.

When you remove barriers that hinder the ability to live in the fullness of His love for you, it will radically change the people you attract and allow close to your heart. You will desire to engage in relationships that honor God, bless you and seek the highest good for others.

Please follow and like us:

Emotions & Spiritual Warfare

Our emotions are tied to our thought life. Have you ever stepped back and listened to your thoughts? Have you been surprised by them and wondered where they were coming from? In his book ‚Wild at Heart,‛ John Eldredge wrote, ‚We are being lied to all the time. Yet, we never stop to say, ‘Wait a minute who else is speaking here? Where are these ideas coming from? Where are these feelings coming from?‛  Satan is at war with God’s children.  He is a crafty one and a deceiver; and, he knows if he were to show up as a dark, scary figure, with a pitchfork, we would immediately flee, sensing danger. So, instead, he uses our fears, hurts, and insecurities to influence us through our thought life.

The enemy knows that if he can control our minds, he can control our behavior; and, what is his most used weapon to do so? Lies! When we believe Satan’s lies, rather than God’s truth, it leads to faulty ways of thinking and wrong behaviors that enslave our souls. The only defense we have to protect our minds from being lost in the darkness of lies, is the truth: the inerrant Word of God.

God’s word gives a detailed combat strategy for defeating the enemy. We are to pull down strongholds (rooted lies) and bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Simply put, we must replace Satan’s lies with God’s truth. If your thoughts are telling you that you are not good enough; that you are unworthy; that you are ugly; that you will always live in fear; that you will never heal; or that you will always live in bondage, stop for one moment and ask yourself, ‛Whose voice am I hearing? Who is it that is telling me that?‛ God’s word tells us that Jesus is the Good Shepherd and His sheep hear His voice and His voice protects them from the thief who wants to destroy them. Our beloved Savior would never harm His sheep by speaking such lies. If you hear that you will never amount to anything, that’s a lie from the enemy; choose, instead, to listen to your Shepherd who says,  ‘For I know the thoughts I have towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to bring you a future and a hope‛ (Jeremiah 29:11). The enemy is a liar and cannot stand against God’s truth. Choose to walk in truth. When you do that, it will render the enemy powerless and defeated, and you will start to thrive in the name of Jesus.

If you are hearing that you will never amount to anything, that’s a lie from the enemy; choose, instead, to listen to your Shepherd who says, ‘For I know the thoughts I have towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to bring you a future and a hope‛ (Jeremiah 29:11). The enemy is a liar and cannot stand against God’s truth. Choose to walk in truth. When you do that, it will render the enemy powerless and defeated, and you will start to thrive in the name of Jesus.

 

Please follow and like us:

On The Other Side of Brokenness – Love Letter From Your Healer

My Precious Daughter,

From the moment I formed you,  I loved you,  Even while you were not in a relationship with me when you rejected me and living in the world, I loved you.  When you gave your life to me, I loved you.  When you walked away from me like the prodigal son, I loved you.  When you hit bottom and could no longer continue, I met you there and loved you.  When my voice penetrated your heart, and you were finally ready to surrender ALL of yourself to me, I loved you. I have never stopped loving you.

My heart breaks when yours does. I cry when you cry. I have heard all your prayers.  I understood when you were angry with me and questioned my whereabouts. Even though some of your choices came with terrible consequences, and it broke my heart to watch you endure the pain from your choices because I am your Father and I love you.  I discipline as a loving father, and I knew that you needed that pain to find your way back to me.

I am your comforter, and I protect you at all times. There is nothing that has kept me from you. When you ran from me, I ran after you. You are MINE, and I love everything about you because I made you. My purpose and plan for your life has never changed. I was just waiting patiently for you to really know me, not just in your head but deep in your heart where my truths are planted and rooted deeply in the soil of my unending love for you. Now they are.

I know you are ready to serve me with your whole heart. I will use your testimony and the gifts that I have given you to touch the hearts of many and draw many to Me, to help heal the broken hearts of my hurting daughters. Here is my hand, take it, and I will guide, equip and prepare you to do the work that I have started in you.

With Everything I AM, I love you!

Your Abba Father and Healer

 

Please follow and like us:

Authentic Identity

We are precious children of the Living God. That is our true identity.

The world tries to give us false and negative identities (ugly, worthless, unwanted, not good enough, etc.) But our precious Savior wants us to be firmly rooted in the truth of who we are in Him (pure, spotless, beautiful, special, wanted, accepted, and loved).

Identity always forms an action. If we see ourselves as unworthy, our actions will follow and vice versa. When we begin to see ourselves as Jesus sees us – precious and beloved, we start to choose to live and behave in our right identity. We then enter into a sweet place of utter and complete brokenness where we see how we have tried to cover the shame, dirtiness, and unworthiness by trying to mask, look good, justify, perform, compensate, work harder, earn God’s love or withdraw altogether.

It is then that we can surrender all the faulty ways we have tried to earn love and acceptance and embrace the sufficiency of the love of Christ displayed at the Cross of Calvary. I am beloved and made Holy not by any action of my own but because of what Jesus has done for me. The moment we embrace that truth as our right identity, we are set free, and our roots of faith grow deep in the soil of our hearts that will sustain, protect and nourish us through the seasons of life.

 

Please follow and like us:

The Ban Aid of Bitterness

When we are hurt emotionally, the fastest way to stop the emotional bleeding is placing the band-aid of bitterness on. It keeps us from feeling the pain and on guard of being hurt again. It also keeps from feeling God at work in our lives or His call to do His work.

God’s word warns “Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springs up and cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.” (Hebrews 12:15) Once bitterness has taken root it causes the wound to fester and grow. Anger, depression, anxiety…all grow out of bitterness.

To get rid of the ban aid of bitterness we need to allow God to come in and clean the wound so that it can heal properly.  Because even though it’s been covered through various coping mechanisms, is still there and it still hurts. Just like a cut that got infected, emotional wounds have to be cleaned so that we are out of the way of God healing them.

Like poison bitterness can slowly kill us. It can harden our hearts to where when God points it out to us we turn our back on what we need to do to get rid of it. The good news is that we have a Savior who can heal our broken hearts and bind up our wounds so that we no longer have to pretend that everything is okay and stop putting on a happy face when we are crying on the inside.

Take your hurts to Jesus. He can clean out the wound causing the infection of bitterness that is making you heart sick and preventing you from giving or receiving forgiveness and living in the fullness of His love and grace.

 

Please follow and like us: