No Boundaries Aren’t Grudges

Friends, don’t let someone else’s undealt with issues begin to make you feel like you have issues. This kind of person wants a reaction and thrives in dysfunction — not necessarily because they are a bad person, because this is what they know. This is how they lived, and if
they have never gone back and allowed someone or God to help them see it wasn’t healthy, they’ll stay in it, and pull the people close to them into it.

Sometimes we have family members that do this and we have gotten healthy, but they have not. And often, they have a hard time with that. Well, in comes the boundary, and you can trust that God will help you stand your ground as you make it in love, and just speak the truth. Be prepared though, because often when that person sees their tactics aren’t working anymore, it can get bad. It can get ugly. But you have to remember, it’s not you, it’s just God bringing to light some of the wounds, hurt, and ugliness in their heart that needs dealt with.

Recognizing the toxic behavior ahead of time will save you years of heartache. As I said, if we are used to toxic behavior in our relationships, we will almost crave it, to feel normal. But all it takes is looking back over your life at the relationships you’ve had, and how your family operated (or didn’t operate at all), and if you know it wasn’t the greatest, or you know there were some issues, bringing them to God and asking Him to show you what needs to be dealt with, so you don’t carry those things or behaviors into any more relationships with you. A Christian counselor is a game changer. Their job is to literally look over your whole life with you, and help you receive healing in every area, for what’s happened to you, what’s been done to you, and what you might have done to others.

But if you are the one dealing with someone toxic, don’t take it. Sometimes the best thing you can do is put a boundary in the sand that will push them directly into the healing arms of Jesus. Even if it hurts or is hard to do, it is the GOOD, right, and loving thing to do. For you, AND them.

Sarah Jean Armstron

What Does A Biblical Marriage Look Like?

In marriage, we are followers of Christ first then a spouse. In the same way, it’s important to remember that these verses apply to us (first):
🌼 Ephesians 5:1-2 “Imitate God; therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ…”
🌼v.3 “Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you…”
🌼v.6 “Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins…”
🌼 v.10 “Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them”.
🌼 v.21 “and further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ”

Don’t miss that all the verses before v.22 apply to you, your spouse and together in your marriage.

With these verses as a foundation, we see the way a healthy marriage should look like, one that pleases the Lord. A marriage that communicates the love of Christ for His Church and His Church for Him in this dark and fallen world 🙏

Barriers Preventing Us from Forgiving Others

A huge barrier to forgiving others is the misconception about, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration. Many people believe that by forgiving, they will continue to live as doormats allowing sinful behavior when nothing has changed. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Forgiveness focuses on the offense. It only involves one person and has nothing to do with what the other person chooses to do. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship. It requires two people engaged in the process.

Forgiveness is the choice to release the offender. Reconciliation is the choice to rejoin the offender. It’s being brought back into a relationship where a wall of separation has been erected. Restoration is the process that makes that possible. Restoration of a relationship takes far more than forgiveness. It requires confession, repentance, and a strong commitment on both sides to work on the relationship and rebuild trust. And it often takes a much longer time.

For example, if a loved is engaged in drugs, alcohol, abuse, or some other harmful behavior, they may ask us to forgive them. Of course, God’s heart is always that we forgive, but if they ask that we go back to the way it was, the answer is a resounding NO! That’s not what we do at all. Love holds people accountable. Love protects. We do not have to allow harmful behavior that hurts us and our families. Thus, there may be extremely toxic, unhealthy people who may need to be removed from our lives.

An example is a relative who sexually molested us as a child. We can forgive them as God has called us to, but having a relationship with them may endanger ourselves and others. So forgiveness does not mean we have to have any kind of relationship with the offender ever again. Forgiveness is a choice, and it’s a willful act of obedience that blesses the heart of our Father in Heaven and sets us free.

Forgiveness Transforms

The past, along with the present and future, belongs to Abba God. Therefore, let us trust and honor God by surrendering it to Him, all for His ordained and anointed purpose. Let us partner with The Balm of Gilead in a heart healing; obey and trust Him to make all things new; praise Him for all He has done and will continue to do.

Let us give God all the glory for how He made a way for us through Jesus; believe and fully receive His Grace. Let us rejoice that we are reconciled by The Blood of The Lamb; sanctified, transformed and regenerated by The Holy Spirit.

Take heart, for there is no place in the present or our future for anything old. We are a new creation…kin with Christ…citizens of Heaven. If there is anything useful from our brokenness, God can certainly transform it into something beautiful, according to His Will and all for His Marvelous Glory…

Isaiah 43:19
Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

Sexual Addiction Is an Escape Mechanism

Just like with many addictions, it is a way for people to cope. But sexual addiction is so seductive, it captures even the most innocent eyes. Do not lose hope friends. There is a way of escape, there is a way of healing, there is a way to freedom.

If you are using pornography as a way to escape, as a way to cope with life; then you have a Savior who is able to connect with you and who intercedes for you even right now. Instead of pursuing ways that will not fulfill; He can give you living water that always satisfies. He is ready to hear from you, you can surrender your struggles to Him.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin.” Hebrews 4:15 CSB

“For everything in the world — the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride in one’s possessions — is not from the Father, but is from the world.” 1 John 2:16 CSB

“For my people have committed a double evil: They have abandoned me, the fountain of living water, and dug cisterns for themselves — cracked cisterns that cannot hold water.” Jeremiah 2:13 CSB