Forgiving In Relationships

God cares about our relationships and wants us to be right with one another. Too often close relationships are torn apart due to hurts, misunderstandings, offenses, pride, unresolved issues, and emotions can run deep, cut at the heart filling us with bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness.

And usually, it’s the relationships we treasure the most that breakdown and cause the deepest pain. Rather than confront the issues, it may seem easier to avoid, blame others and feel justified holding on to our hurts and anger.

Yet God calls us higher. His word says that as much as depends on us to live at peace with all people (Romans 12:18). We need to forgive those who have wounded us and ask for forgiveness when we have wounded others. We will never be free unless we learn how to forgive and release our offenders at the foot of the cross.

We need only take ownership of our wrong doings and leave the rest at God’s feet endeavoring always to extend grace and leave the door open for reconciliation whenever possible.

Are you struggling with forgiveness? Sometimes all it takes is to go to Jesus with a sincere heart and ask Him to give you a willingness to forgive, make amends and pursue peace. There is nothing that He can’t do with a willing and surrendered heart.

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On The Other Side of Brokenness – Love Letter From Your Healer

My Precious Daughter,

From the moment I formed you,  I loved you,  Even while you were not in a relationship with me when you rejected me and living in the world, I loved you.  When you gave your life to me, I loved you.  When you walked away from me like the prodigal son, I loved you.  When you hit bottom and could no longer continue, I met you there and loved you.  When my voice penetrated your heart, and you were finally ready to surrender ALL of yourself to me, I loved you. I have never stopped loving you.

My heart breaks when yours does. I cry when you cry. I have heard all your prayers.  I understood when you were angry with me and questioned my whereabouts. Even though some of your choices came with terrible consequences, and it broke my heart to watch you endure the pain from your choices because I am your Father and I love you.  I discipline as a loving father, and I knew that you needed that pain to find your way back to me.

I am your comforter, and I protect you at all times. There is nothing that has kept me from you. When you ran from me, I ran after you. You are MINE, and I love everything about you because I made you. My purpose and plan for your life has never changed. I was just waiting patiently for you to really know me, not just in your head but deep in your heart where my truths are planted and rooted deeply in the soil of my unending love for you. Now they are.

I know you are ready to serve me with your whole heart. I will use your testimony and the gifts that I have given you to touch the hearts of many and draw many to Me, to help heal the broken hearts of my hurting daughters. Here is my hand, take it, and I will guide, equip and prepare you to do the work that I have started in you.

With Everything I AM, I love you!

Your Abba Father and Healer

 

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Emotional Pain

thorn-heartOften people who are experiencing emotional pain have difficulty expressing their feelings in a healthy way. A common cause is buried feelings due to loss or past hurts.

Ignored or denied feelings won’t go away. They are buried alive, deep inside your soul, where they fester and create an infection that produces poison in your body.

As long as emotional pain continues to be suppressed and undealt with the symptoms will only get worse such as relationship conflict, unhealthy behaviors, depression, addictions, and all sorts of other coping mechanisms that wound the heart and separate us from self, others and God.

That’s why it’s so vitality important to face your feelings.
Bring your heartache and hurts, your anxiety, your fear, and frustration to Jesus. Pour out your heart to Him and receive His comfort. He alone understands the depth of your hurt and pain. His word assures us in Isaiah that He was a man of sorrows acquainted with our grief. Hold on to the assurance found in His Holy Word…


“We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. “
Hebrews 4:15-16

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True Intimacy

SatisfiedBeing intimate involves the mixing of our life with another, a mingling of souls, a sharing of hearts. This is something that we all long for because that is how God made us. We were designed to connect. It requires openness, honesty, and transparency – the ability to share our true selves and have security knowing that we are loved and accepted just the way we are despite our imperfections. This is true intimacy.

Sex can be the most intimate and beautiful expression of love within the boundaries of marriage, but we are lying to ourselves when we think that sex is proof of love. How many men do you know that demand sex as proof of love and how many women give in to sex in hopes of getting love?

Real intimacy does not come by merely coming together in sex. Many couples go to bed at night sharing their bodies but feel lonely because they don’t share their hearts. You see sex is not the source of love, it’s merely an expression of it. And no matter how hard you try, if real emotional and spiritual intimacy does not take place before sex, it probably won’t after. Not to mention God will not bless a relationship that goes against His word.

True intimacy begins with your relationship with God first. This relationship is the foundation for all healthy relationships. When you let the living God be the source of intimacy and love in your life, you won’t fall into the pitfalls of relationships devoid of emotional and spiritual intimacy that leave your heart longing and unsatisfied.

“For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.” Psalm 107:9

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Life Beyond Emotional Pain

life beyond pain“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 2 Cor. 1:4

It is in our greatest struggles and pain that we encounter The Comforter – Our Jesus in the deepest intimate way. And we emerge on the other side with a heart of compassion for those who face the same hurts and struggles.

Our God not only heals and restores our broken hearts and lives, but He is faithful to turn our pain into a ministry of compassion to reach the hurting so we can comfort others as we have been comforted.

He truly gives us beauty for ashes.

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Loving Radically

heartGod’s word gives us the formula for relationships. “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”

Many of us because of our past don’t even know what authentic love looks like. It’s never been modeled to us the right way so we can’t love ourselves much less others. And No being self-absorbed is not love it’s quite the opposite.

There may be things in your heart hindering your ability to love God, self and others.  1 John 4:19  says we love God because he first loved us. Run to the source of authentic love. Let him heal and saturate you with His love.

Once you experience the fullness of His love unhindered by the lies of the past you will love Jesus in the depth of your heart and know in your soul how precious and valuable you are in His sight and are worth loving. Then you can love radically. Because His love is radical! Get to the root!

 

 

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The Balm That Heals

Jesus Is The Balm of Gilead

Gilead was a region in Biblical times known for its healing balms. People would travel miles for the soothing ointment found there offering relief for their suffering caused by various pains and wounds. During this time, God’s people were in a backslidden state chasing after other Gods and idols.

The Prophet Jeremiah was grieved to the core of the condition of God’s people facing destruction and judgment because they refused to turn away from empty things that made them soul and spiritually sick instead of turning to the Living God. In anguish, he cried out…

“Is there no Balm in Gilead? Is there no physician there? Why then is there no healing for the wound of my people?” (Jeremiah 8:22)

Are you sick? Are you hurting today? The Balm of Gilead is an illustration of the healing that is available through Jesus Christ. He is the Great Physician, the all-sufficient one who is able to heal and set free. Jesus wants to heal the wounds of your heart. Do you want to be made well? He is the ointment that can heal God’s children.

 

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It’s Not About You!

It's Not About You!People we love and care about sometimes mistreat us, say unkind things to us or about us, verbally or physically abuse us, neglect, ignore, betray, reject, or abandon us. Our first reaction is almost always to personalize it. Please understand that people’s negative behaviors are not about us and everything to do with what is going on inside of them. We cannot react by taking ownership of their negative junk when they act out of their own unhealthy patterns that we are not responsible for. It will not only hurt us deeply but make us believe lies that affect how we see ourselves.

What we can do is take ownership and responsibility for our own junk, ask for forgiveness when applicable, and impose healthy boundaries to protect ourselves from allowing their actions to hurt us physically, spiritually, or emotionally.  That just gives unhealthy people way too much power in our lives. And last time I checked, only God is allowed to have that kind of authority in our lives.

We can’t make people’s problems our problems. When we do that, they own us! Causing us to lose sight of who we are because we are so caught up in them and their drama. They will live rent free in our heads and consume us. And that only leads to bitterness, anger and resentments robbing us of our joy, peace and sanity.  You are worth so much more.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Proverbs 4:23

 

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Emotionally Crippled

emotionally crippled 2We are told in scripture to let go of the past and reach forward to what’s ahead. Sadly, many of God’s children cannot let go or forget the past because they have been wounded and crippled emotionally in one way or another, and the past is affecting their present life. So instead of running the Christian race they limp along the way often overcome with guilt and shame for not “getting it” like other Christians seemingly do.

Our Churches are filled with two types of emotional crippled Christians, The first have open wounds in their hearts that they medicate through negative behaviors such as addiction, immorality, anger etc. They live in denial not realizing their destructive and hurtful behaviors have a root cause.

The second group of wounded believers are also in denial but through sheer will power they have chosen to bury and rise above their past often pouring themselves into ministry, volunteer work, charities, and other busy activities out of a personal need to be needed and valued rather than a healthy heart to serve. By staying busy they don’t have to face themselves and the wounds inside, or learn to receive from others.

These two groups have one important thing in common – they have never accepted the Grace of God. Whatever they do, even spiritually, it never seems to be enough. It’s as if they have to earn God’s acceptance, and yet never feel they are good enough to fully receive it. The first group is overcome with sinful behaviors; while the second group is so busy “being good” they don’t even consider the possibility that they may have festering wounds inside that need healing.

It is only when unresolved areas within are dealt with that the past can truly be put behind and we are able to run the race with endurance and assurance of God’s calling and purpose for our life.

“Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.”
Hebrews 12:1-2

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Rejection

Rejection
Nothing wounds a heart more than rejection. The dictionary defines rejection as “an act of throwing away or discarding someone or something,” which implies a lack of value in the person or thing being thrown away. Being rejected then can make us feel valueless and worthless.

Since every human being has three fundamental needs ….to be loved, valued and accepted, rejection results in wounding in the heart so painful that people cannot deal with it so they suppress it in their mind, stuff the pain away inside, pretend it’s not there and live in denial of their pain, but later it surfaces in various negative behaviors causing deeper pain, problems and conflict much like a layering affect.

Rejection can be rooted in our family of origin, peers, those in authority (teachers, pastors, etc.), resulting from verbal abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, troubles in the home, adoption, divorce, abandonment, infidelity, and peer rejection.

Sadly rejection can breed more rejection if the roots are not dealt with. People with rejection issues often feel victimized and place themselves in situations where they are always the victim, whether real or imagined and it sets a pattern that becomes a way of life, Others turn to exhausting ways to feel accepted – people pleasing, perfectionism, workaholic, etc. Others refuse to deal with it all together and check out through, drugs, alcohol, anger, immorality, and other negative behaviors. Unless the root is dealt with, the truth is accepted and replaced –the by-product or rejection will always be rejection.

Despite the past rejection our God can heal you. He can walk into the darkness of rejection and shed His marvelous light on the path of your healing journey. The one who created you and numbers the hairs on your head will never reject you. He wants to heal those painful roots of rejection so that you can live in His acceptance.

“I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do: I will not forsake them. “
(Isaiah 42:16)

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