Family God’s Design

The family is of monumental importance to God and extremely influential in shaping the hearts and minds of children.

When a home has genuine Godly characteristics, and the foundation is built on Jesus Christ, the byproduct is going to be love, grace, identity, security, and significance. However, when a family is built on anything other, it’s going to be unstable and unsafe and will produce shame, fear, guilt, neglect, and abuse: unmet needs that cripple children emotionally, into adulthood.

What is poured into the soil of our hearts, then, determines the health of our roots; or, our beliefs; which affects how we view ourselves and the world around us.

The nourishment we receive is going to have a huge impact on our tree of life. If we are nourished in God’s light, we will receive the breath of life and believe that we are precious, valued children of the living God; but, if all we receive is darkness, we are going to believe what darkness breaths: lies about ourselves and others.

Despite your background or the family heritage you received, you can be the one who applies faith in the Cross of Jesus Christ that brings healing to the hurts that have plagued your family. Choose life! Plant seeds that produce a legacy built on the redemptive love of Jesus.

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The Root of Negative Behavior

People even in the church can behave in very unloving and ungodly ways. They can act out in pride and holier than thou attitudes or lash out in anger, addictions, slander and malice towards others grieving the Holy Spirit in whom we were sealed. It’s easier to judge the sinful attitudes and behaviors on the surface without taking a step back and gain God’s perspective on the matter. But doesn’t Scripture tell us that God judges the heart and not the outward?

People don’t wake one morning with a hardened heart. What could have happened to an individual who acts out so negatively, rudely and hurts self and others? What kind of hurts are they carrying around inside? Please understand that whatever hurts are buried deep inside a hardened heart does not excuse the sinful behavior. God hates sin, and we are allowed to hate it too. Nevertheless, by peering into the heart of God and seeing things through His eyes, it will help us understand the reasons why people act out and will help us gain compassion and not personalize the sinful behaviors of others.

Painful wounds in our hearts can always be traced back to the effects of sin, whether our own or someone else’s. Disguising pain with either good or bad habits, or addictions create a vicious cycle of guilt and shame. Whatever the coping mechanism, until the root of the hurt is dealt with the wound will continue to fester allowing sinful negative behaviors to continue. God wants to heal your broken heart. No matter what you have been through, God is bigger than anything you have experienced or are experiencing now. No matter where you’ve been, what you have done or what has been done to you … the Master Healer, Jehovah Rapha, can transform your innermost hurts into conduits of His blessings. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead can heal and restore you. He only asks one thing…”Do you want to be made well?” Healing is a choice.

“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.…”

Ephesians 4:30-32

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Unhealthy Boundaries

unhealthy boundariesGod’s boundaries are everywhere throughout scripture. They separate light from dark, land and sea, good and evil, holiness and unholiness. They also define ownership. In our personal lives, they protect what we value and assign worth to.

God’s word says that we are the temple of the living God. This means that we are precious and of tremendous worth. We belong to Jesus. Sadly, many believers don’t see their value so they allow people to hurt and mistreat them.

Healthy boundaries are essential in establishing healthy relationships. Unhealthy boundaries lead to unhealthy relationships, and broken boundaries result in broken relationships.

People with unhealthy boundaries allow wrongful behaviors that hurt them and others, compromise values to please others, expect others to fulfill all their needs, feel guilty when they say “no,” and feel used, taken advantage of, unappreciated, threatened and victimized by others, they feel responsible for others feelings and allow others to tell them how to think, feel and behave. They also struggle with being afraid to disapprove of others, receiving criticism, or losing the love of others.

When we allow God to heal our hurts and show us the unhealthy ways we have been operating in relationships, we will start to see our value and worth in Him, and we will no longer wish to engage in the negative patterns of behaviors that ruin relationships. He will teach us how to set boundaries to guard our hearts and temples against getting defiled with bitterness and resentment.

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The Prison of Denial

tearsThe dictionary defines denial as an unconscious defense mechanism characterized by refusal to acknowledge painful realities, thoughts, or feelings. In other words, we run to denial, so we don’t have to feel the pain.  People will often check out or run around trying to fill the void in their lives and run away from the painful truth of their past through negative behaviors and coping mechanisms.

It is heartbreaking to see the lengths people will go to cover their pain. But God says in Jeremiah 6:14 (TLB), “You can’t heal a wound by saying it’s not there!” We have fooled ourselves into thinking that denial protects us from our pain. In truth, denial deepens our suffering, because it causes the wounds to grow, fester, get infected and spread. It prolongs our pain and allows shame to take root.

When we don’t deal with the roots of our pain, the coping mechanisms continue to pile on layer upon layer, and our problems get worse not better. There is a saying — we are only as sick as our secrets. Truth like surgery may hurt for a while, but it heals. God promises us in Jeremiah 30:17 that He will give us back our health and heal our wounds.

Living in denial allows hurting people to run away from their pain giving them a false sense of security, but they are in bondage because their past continues to affect every area of their lives.

“Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.” (Psalm 51:4)

Everywhere we find the word truth in scripture it points to freedom, salvation, and life. It points to Jesus, the Word, the Truth, and the Life. That’s why God desires us to know truth in our inward being. He knows that it’s the truth that sets us free. He further knows the enemy who is the father of lies desires for us to stay in denial because we can’t heal unless things are brought into the light.

Yet we are not alone. Jesus promised the Holy Spirit would lead us into all truth even the hurtful things that are hidden that need to be exposed so that we can heal and be set free.  Are you ready?

 

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Healing The Roots

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Painful wounds in our hearts can always be traced back to the effects of sin, whether our own or someone else’s. Disguising your pain with either good or bad habits, or addictions creates a vicious cycle of guilt and shame.

Whatever the coping mechanism, until the root of the hurt is dealt with the wound will continue to fester. God wants to heal your broken heart. No matter what you have been through, God is bigger than anything you have experienced or are experiencing now.

No matter where you’ve been, what you have done or what has been done to you … the Master Healer, Jehovah Rapha, can transform your innermost hurts into conduits of His blessings.

The same power that raised Jesus from the dead can heal and restore you. He only asks one thing…”

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What Is Emotional Healing?

What is Emotional Healing

What Is Emotional Healing?

Suppressed negative emotions take root early in life and accumulate and are buried over time but don’t go away. They manifest in all sorts unhealthy thinking and behaviors.  This is an opportune time for Satan to set up strongholds in our minds. A stronghold is a way of thinking that holds us bondage in our minds, and it strangles the abundant life of a believer.  Over time, each negative emotionally hurtful event in our lives can add another layer of woodenness and unless it is brought to the light can rob us of our joy and peace in our walk with the Lord and affect our emotional health and well-being.

The first step to achieving emotional healing is being honest and recognizing that rather than blaming others and staying a victim, we need to take accountability for how we have been dealing with past hurts.

“Jesus says if you abide in my word you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and truth will set you free”….”So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”  (John 8:32,33)

How can we experience this freedom if we are still carrying around our backpack of emotional hurts and pain? In order to know this freedom, we need to acknowledge that we have not dealt with these buried emotions and need them brought to the surface so our Lord Jesus can sever them at the root.

Then and only then can God take us from a broken, hurting, anxious individual and restore us so that we can finally experience the peace and joy that the Lord desires us to have in our walk with Him.

“He reveals the deep and secret things; He knows what is in the darkness and the light dwells with Him.”

(Daniel 2:22 Amplified Bible)

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Sowing Seeds of Hope – Life Beyond Abuse

beyond abuse
The pain of unmet needs, thoughtless words, hurtful actions, to overt abuse can linger for a lifetime manifesting in various negative, behaviors such as addiction, unhealthy relationship, and abusive patterns. These low hanging toxic fruit from our tree of life pollute everything around us stunting emotional growth.

Behind the violation and the physical pain of the trauma of abuse, there is a message that was sent to the hearts of victims that have left deep open wounds which continue to fester. These messages speak lies to us and skew beliefs about ourselves and others. These lies lead our wounded hearts to adopt faulty reactions and faulty behaviors to hide our intense hurt and build walls that act as barriers to intimacy with God. Yet the Lord lovingly uses our current struggles, failures, and our problem relationships to reveal unresolved emotional pain as God calls each one of us to account. His desire is to break down those walls of self-protection and heal our hurting hearts in order to set us free. Take a moment to meditate on the following scripture and let it resonate deeply in your hearts.

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed.”
Luke 4:18

If you have found yourself the prisoner of a painful past, there is hope for your hurting heart. God’s word says…

“In all things give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18

No trial – no abuse is wasted. Your pain doesn’t have to be pointless; it can be full of purpose. Because you know the pain of abuse you have the ability to have compassion for others who have been wounded and abused. Thank God for what He is teaching you through the very difficult situation and the pain. Allow the Lord to take your pain and turn it into a precious ministry – a ministry of compassion to comfort and exhort others who are hurting.

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The Roots of Our Pain

the roots of our pain fb

We are all rooted in something. We are like a tree that has been planted and in order to thrive and produce healthy fruit; we must start life out with healthy seeds planted in healthy soil. We need to be watered daily and receive plenty of sunshine. This produces a healthy strong root system that allows for health and growth. Sadly many of us have deep unhealthy roots that are stunting our growth and we are barren, barely hanging on, unable to live the abundant life that Jesus spoke of in John 10:10.

Much like a tree that has been planted by a stream, if you are dependent on that stream to be the water source that nourishes you —what happens if say 15 miles upstream there is a dead animal that is decaying and polluting the water? You may not be able to see the poison in the water but it is going to head downstream and you are going to receive it and take it in. It does not matter if it is a huge dead animal or a drop of poison, no matter how big or small, you are going to get contaminated and affected by it.

It works the same in our root system. The nourishment we receive will drastically affect our growth. Whether pure healthy streams of water – love, grace, security, acceptance, significance, or polluted, toxic water—shame, fear, guilt, neglect, abuse, unmet needs, will dramatically affect who we are at a core level and becomes our belief system. If we are nourished as intended by streams of living water – we are going to believe that we are precious, valued, and loved children of the Living God. If our water source is polluted then by default we will believe lies about ourselves – unworthy, unlovable, defective, unacceptable, etc. We will also believe lies about God…He does not care, He is not there, He doesn’t exist, He doesn’t love me, He’s mad at me, and so on and so on it goes.

What we believe then (our root system) determines the kind of branches we are going to grow. These branches represent our decisions (how we think) and our emotions (how we feel). If we have faulty toxic belief systems, it will result in negative thinking, negative emotions, and negative decisions. These can manifest as shame, fear, anger, guilt, rejection, depression, doubt, hopelessness, etc. These branches then bear fruit which represents our actions, attitudes, and behaviors. Negative emotions manifest in negative behaviors – addictions, eating disorders, codependency, rage, critical spirit, control, abuse, perfectionism, etc. What we believe, affects how we think, feel, and behave.

So if we have a contaminated root system it is going to skew what we value, our emotions, and our decisions, which will ultimately affect the end result, which is our fruit. We are either going to produce living healthy fruit that nourishes and brings forth life, or we are going to produce unhealthy toxic fruit that brings forth death.

We do not have to live bound by unhealthy rooted systems that wreak havoc on our lives and leave deep wounds in our hearts caused by sin, (our own or those imposed by others) that strangle the abundant life our beloved Savior came to give His believers. Our God is bigger and more powerful than anything that has happened to us. He can heal us. God’s word says…. “He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.” (John 15:2). He wants to prune us and pour healing into our root system so that we will be healed.

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