Nothing wounds a heart more than rejection. The dictionary defines rejection as “an act of throwing away or discarding someone or something,” which implies a lack of value in the person or thing being thrown away.
Many struggles in life often are fought on the battlefield of our minds. That’s why James writes “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1). That’s why we are exhorted in God’s Word to demolish any thought that goes against what God says is true about any given situation.
We are in a Spiritual battle and need to take every stray thought captive and repent, correct it and align it with the truth of God’s Word. If someone has hurt us or wronged us, and we are having hateful thoughts towards that person, we need to take that hateful thought captive immediately so that bitterness does not take root in our hearts and defiles us. (Hebrews 12:15)
We need to stop, realize what is truth in the situation, take responsibility for our wrong actions, ask for forgiveness, acknowledge when they are wrong, understand that we cannot change another person, offer forgiveness, release them to God and choose not to hate.
The victory in the battle is won when we discipline our thinking, so it focuses on thoughts that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and are praiseworthy to God. (Philippians 4:8)
Negative emotions like anger, bitterness, hate, jealousy, fear, anxiety can kill us. They are joy stealers. They suck the life out of us and hinder us from living abundant lives in Christ.
The good news is that we are not powerless. God has given us a choice to meditate on life-giving thoughts or thoughts that bring death to our lives and render us defeated. Choose life! Choose victory! Make it a practice to capture every negative thought and choose to replace it with good ones that come from the truth of God’s life-giving Word.
Brokenness is a heart condition. Jesus is the remedy…and His cure guarantees eternal life!
When we invite in The Great Physician to perform His spiritual surgery, we receive a heart healing that includes redemption, restoration, rest and peace…beside the still waters of everlasting love.
Won’t you cry out to The Balm of Gilead? That He may bind and heal your wounded heart?
O LORD my God, I cried to You for help, and You healed me.
He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destructions.
Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases;
He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.
On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.”
1 Peter 2:24
who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed.
Is there no balm in Gilead,
Is there no physician there?
Why then is there no recovery
For the health of the daughter of my people?
But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed.
People who grew up in a home where the seed of rejection was planted have a difficult time trusting God. They transfer the negative characteristics of their caregivers unto God believing that they will never measure up, are not worthy to be loved, and are convinced that God would never approve of them.
If their earthly father rejected them, or if their mother was untrustworthy, if people in authority who were supposed to love and protect them hurt them, then God will reject them and is untrustworthy. That is a lie.
God wants to replace the lies that were planted and replant the word of truth into your soul.
Get to know God’s character and His immense love for you through His word. Claim God’s promises for your life. The heart of your Heavenly Father is for you to know the truth so that you will be set free.
“ I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Jeremiah 31:3
“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God.”
1 John 3:3
“Moreover, I will make My dwelling among you, and My soul will not reject you.”
“In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37-39
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
When a home has genuine Godly characteristics, and the foundation is built on Jesus Christ, the byproduct is going to be love, grace, identity, security, and significance. However, when a family is built on anything other, it’s going to be unstable and unsafe and will produce shame, fear, guilt, neglect, and abuse: unmet needs that cripple children emotionally, into adulthood.
What is poured into the soil of our hearts, then, determines the health of our roots; or, our beliefs; which affects how we view ourselves and the world around us.T
he nourishment we receive is going to have a huge impact on our tree of life. If we are nourished in God’s light, we will receive the breath of life and believe that we are precious, valued children of the living God; but, if all we receive is darkness, we are going to believe what darkness breathes -lies about ourselves and others.
Despite your background or the family heritage you received, you can be the one who applies faith in the Cross of Jesus Christ, and bring healing to the hurts that have plagued your family. Choose life!
Jesus asked one question to the lame man at the pool of Bethesda in John 5:2 “Do you want to be made well?” This is the pivotal question for every person seeking healing for emotional wounds. The simple truth is that not everyone wants to be made well. They may start off eager with the best intentions, feeling emotionally that they cannot go on another day, but at the end of the day, do not want to be made well, and those who do not want to get well are not going to get well.
Why would I not want to walk in the freedom from the bondage that Christ set me free from? F-E-A-R! Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of what may be uprooted and exposed, fear of pain, fear that we may have to give up (someone or something); Or we may not be desperate enough yet.
Perhaps we have grown comfortable in our dysfunction and are comfortable in a victim role. We may not have reached a breaking point yet where we face losing someone we love, such as a spouse, or a relationship, maybe even a job, our freedom, and in our minds – we tell ourselves as bad as our current situation is – “it’s not as bad as so and so’s”, or at least we know how to respond, or how to continue to do life and even serve in ministry. However, we are putting on the painted smile while living in a prison in our own mind. But make no mistake…It is never God’s fault. If we do not want to embark on the journey and “be made well” – we won’t get well. Healing is a choice.
If you are in a place where you are desperate enough to get help and want to be made well then I pray that nothing will hinder you from getting the healing that you need and will encounter the Healer in a deep and intimate way.
Many believers are able to let go of the past and live and thrive in the fullness of a new life in Christ. Sadly many cannot because they have been wounded and crippled emotionally in one way or another. So instead of running the race with endurance – they limp along the way.
There are two types of emotionally wounded believers – The first turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms,-negative behaviors – addictions, immorality, anger, etc.
The second try to pull themselves up by the boot straps choosing to bury and rise about their past through self-efforts and busy themselves with many things including work, ministry, volunteer work, charities, always doing – often out of a need to be needed and valued rather than a healthy heart to serve. The problem is they have never dealt with the pain and believe that they are living free but are still living in bondage because deep inside they still believe the lies behind the pain.
Both are hurting, and both are in denial. They may have different coping mechanisms but one thing in common….they have never fully accepted the Grace of God into the deeply wounded areas of their hearts.Both are hindered from living the abundant life that Jesus spoke about in John 10:10
How do they move forward? The past must be dealt with in order to move forward. Burying it doesn’t work, stuffing doesn’t work, pretending it’s not there doesn’t work….sooner or later it unravels….the stuffing comes out in negative behaviors or even seemingly good behaviors, but at the root, there is something entirely different going on.
Give your hurts to Jesus. Stop running and hiding from the past. Let God heal your hurts and replace the lies with the truth of who you are in Jesus. Let go. Put the past behind, reach ahead and run the race with endurance and assurance of God’s calling on our life.
“Let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2
Healthy boundaries are essential in establishing healthy relationships. Unhealthy boundaries lead to unhealthy relationships and broken boundaries lead to broken relationships. People with unhealthy boundaries….
Allow wrongful behavior that hurts them, the person acting out and the entire family.
Sacrifice their personal values, plans or goals to please others.
Allow others to define who they are and make decisions for them.
Expect others to fulfill all their needs.
Feel guilty when they say “No!”
Hesitate to share their opinions or assert themselves if they are being treated unfairly.
Frequently feel used, taken advantage of, unappreciated, threatened, victimized or mistreated by others.
Offer unsolicited advice, or feel pressured to follow some else’s advice.
Take responsibility for other people’s feelings.
Let others tell them how to think, feel, or act.
Tell others how to think, feel, or act.
If you struggle with unhealthy boundaries, you can also struggle with being afraid to disapprove of others, receiving criticism from others, or losing the love of others.Healing is a choice. Allow God to heal you and fill you with His love and grace. You will then begin to see yourself as He sees you.
Let Jesus be the source of the only love that will satisfy your every need — you will gain a newfound freedom knowing your value and worth, and begin seeing yourself through the filter of His love and not through the filter of the unhealthy people around you. Then you can stop being a victim and walk in victory, stop blaming others and start taking ownership and responsibility of your own life as a precious child of the living God.
Love is the answer to all our insecurity and relational issues. When we accept God’s love, we can recognize our tremendous value and worth in Him and in turn recognize others’ value. But because of our past wounds and experiences, we are often unable to accept God’s love, and it leaves us struggling with insecurities. Insecurity is a big culprit in how we get along with others.
Do you feel they owe you? Are you expecting them to pay you back for the hurt and pain they caused? Do you feel bitter, angry and resentful towards them? Do you think they should suffer for what they did? Do you want revenge? If you answer yes to any of these, then you have not forgiven in your heart. Holding on to unforgiveness will pollute your heart and allow their sin to continue to hurt you.
Choosing to forgive does not condone their sin. It doesn’t mean there should be no justice. There are consequences to sin, but only God is the righteous judge.
Release the offender to Him and refuse to harbor negative feelings towards those who have hurt you. If you don’t know how to forgive, seek Jesus. He is faithful to put people in our lives that will help us process the hurts so that we can grieve, accept and release them to the feet of the cross so we can forgive from the heart. That’s true freedom.