When We Lose The Love of Others

We were all created with three God given needs – for love, security, and acceptance. When people fail us it can cut at our self-worth because we look to them to meet the needs only God can fully meet.

Losing a relationship is always painful but can be devastating for some. God does bring people in our lives to reinforce our inherent needs but they are not meant to take His place as the only source of love that truly satisfies.

It we are dependent on people to meet our love needs what happens when they leave? If you are feeling lost and rejected over a relationship loss turn to Jesus. He offers you love and acceptance. He will never reject you. Ephesians 1:6 says you are accepted in the beloved.

If you are feeling lost and rejected over a relationship loss turn to Jesus. He offers you love and acceptance. He will never reject you. Ephesians 1:6 says you are accepted in the beloved.

The Lord wants to reaffirm your value and worth in Him. But it won’t be found in anyone or anything other than Him. True identity does not come from relationships but from a relationship with our precious Savior Jesus Christ.

True identity does not come from relationships but from a relationship with our precious Savior Jesus Christ.

God doesn’t take away your need for love, He satisfies it the right way. Psalm 107:9

 

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Rejection And Trusting God’s Love

People who grew up in a home where the seed of rejection was planted have a difficult time trusting God.  They transfer the negative characteristics of their caregivers unto God believing that they will never measure up, are not worthy to be loved, and are convinced that God would never approve of them.

If their earthly father rejected them, or if their mother was untrustworthy, if people in authority who were supposed to love and protect them hurt them, then God will reject them and is untrustworthy. That is a lie. God wants to replace the lies that were planted and replant the word of truth into your soul.

Get to know God’s character and His immense love for you through His word. Claim God’s promises for your life. The heart of your Heavenly Father is for you to know the truth so that you will be set free.

 

“ I have loved you with an everlasting love.”

Jeremiah 31:3

 

“How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God.”

1 John 3:1

 

“Moreover, I will make My dwelling among you, and My soul will not reject you.”

Leviticus 26:11

In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:37-39

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Family God’s Design

The family is of monumental importance to God and extremely influential in shaping the hearts and minds of children.

When a home has genuine Godly characteristics, and the foundation is built on Jesus Christ, the byproduct is going to be love, grace, identity, security, and significance. However, when a family is built on anything other, it’s going to be unstable and unsafe and will produce shame, fear, guilt, neglect, and abuse: unmet needs that cripple children emotionally, into adulthood.

What is poured into the soil of our hearts, then, determines the health of our roots; or, our beliefs; which affects how we view ourselves and the world around us.

The nourishment we receive is going to have a huge impact on our tree of life. If we are nourished in God’s light, we will receive the breath of life and believe that we are precious, valued children of the living God; but, if all we receive is darkness, we are going to believe what darkness breaths: lies about ourselves and others.

Despite your background or the family heritage you received, you can be the one who applies faith in the Cross of Jesus Christ that brings healing to the hurts that have plagued your family. Choose life! Plant seeds that produce a legacy built on the redemptive love of Jesus.

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Authentic Identity

We are precious children of the Living God. That is our true identity.

The world tries to give us false and negative identities (ugly, worthless, unwanted, not good enough, etc.) But our precious Savior wants us to be firmly rooted in the truth of who we are in Him (pure, spotless, beautiful, special, wanted, accepted, and loved).

Identity always forms an action. If we see ourselves as unworthy, our actions will follow and vice versa. When we begin to see ourselves as Jesus sees us – precious and beloved, we start to choose to live and behave in our right identity. We then enter into a sweet place of utter and complete brokenness where we see how we have tried to cover the shame, dirtiness, and unworthiness by trying to mask, look good, justify, perform, compensate, work harder, earn God’s love or withdraw altogether.

It is then that we can surrender all the faulty ways we have tried to earn love and acceptance and embrace the sufficiency of the love of Christ displayed at the Cross of Calvary. I am beloved and made Holy not by any action of my own but because of what Jesus has done for me. The moment we embrace that truth as our right identity, we are set free, and our roots of faith grow deep in the soil of our hearts that will sustain, protect and nourish us through the seasons of life.

 

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Loneliness

Christmas is a time of good cheer, excitement,  expectancy, warmth, busyness and feelings of joy surrounded by family and friends. But for some, it can be a time of extreme loneliness.  Loneliness can be described as a feeling of emptiness in the pit of your stomach when someone you love has left you either through death or broken relationships. You may feel abandoned, unwanted, or unneeded as if you’re all by yourself when you are actually surrounded by all kinds of people. You may feel like no one really cares.

These feeling can intensify if you begin to believe that your loneliness is a result of something being wrong at a core level with you – that you are somehow unacceptable, unworthy, don’t measure up, or unlovable.  When this happens, you may feel hopeless and have nothing to live for. Your pain can erode your self-worth, and drain you of strength.  Loneliness puts a huge wall around your heart and prevents you from allowing others in including God.

When you feel as if the entire world has abandoned you, and that no one understands your pain and sorrow God’s Word promises that the Lord is with you and He will never leave you.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Deuteronomy 31:8

In your loneliness and despair, have you distanced yourself from the Lord?

It is never too late to draw near to Him again. You are His precious child. And when you return to Him, you will be welcomed with open arms. You will have heartfelt joy when returning home to the shelter of God’s unconditional love and acceptance. You are never alone!

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Only God Completes You

colossiansEvery human being is born with three basic God-given needs for love, security, and significance. When these needs aren’t met it creates a void begging to be filled. Wherever there is a void, it is going to be filled with something even it’s destructive.

Because basic needs, especially for love, weren’t met this causes people to have faulty core beliefs about themselves and therefore often settle for relationships that are emotionally unavailable and imbalanced which creates conflict at all levels leading to emotional pain and frustration.

It’s not your job to fix someone else. It’s not their job to fix or complete you. It’s God’s job.

Only the One who created us has the power to change, fix, complete, and satisfy us with His unfailing love. Don’t set others up for failure to do what only God is able to do. You will live with constant disappointment.

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Love That Satisfies

the right way“For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things.” Psalm 107:9

We were born with a deep craving for love. Every human heart if they were honest wants to be loved and accepted. We are looking for unfailing love.  Love that says you are precious, valued, and have great worth.  It’s a need put there by the One who created us.

The heart craves unwavering, unconditional, radical, deep, intimate, tender, affectionate, expansive, healthy and satisfying love. We are not wrong to desire this kind of love, but we are wrong to think we can find it in anyone else than in the heart of God.

When children are not modeled unconditional love, they grow up searching for it. As adults, they are like walking empty voids begging to be filled. Where there is a void, it’s going to be filled with something even if it’s destructive.  Also, when we have never experienced healthy love, we will settle for the counterfeit often allowing people to hurt and mistreat us for fear of losing what we have redefined as love.

When we look to others to be the source of unfailing love it’s not only futile it’s destructive, extremely disappointing, and emotionally painful. God’s love sets us free. The counterfeit suffocates and enslaves us spiritually and emotionally.

The good news is that God doesn’t take away our need for love. He satisfies it the right way. Don’t settle for anything else.

“That Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love,  may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the width and length and depth and height—  to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:17-20

 

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