We are told in scripture to let go of the past and reach forward to what’s ahead. Sadly, many of God’s children cannot let go or forget the past because they have been wounded and crippled emotionally in one way or another, and the past is affecting their present life. So instead of running the Christian race they limp along the way often overcome with guilt and shame for not “getting it” like other Christians seemingly do.
Our Churches are filled with two types of emotional crippled Christians, The first have open wounds in their hearts that they medicate through negative behaviors such as addiction, immorality, anger, etc. They live in denial of their pain not realizing their destructive and hurtful behaviors have a root cause.
The second group of wounded believers is also in denial, but through sheer willpower, they have chosen to bury and rise above their past often pouring themselves into ministry, volunteer work, charities, and other busy activities out of a personal need to be needed and valued rather than a healthy heart to serve. By staying busy, they don’t have to face themselves and the wounds inside or learn to receive from others.
These two groups have one important thing in common – they have never accepted the Grace of God. Whatever they do, even spiritually, it never seems to be enough. It’s as if they have to earn God’s acceptance, and yet never feel they are good enough to receive it fully.
The first group is overcome with sinful behaviors; while the second group is so busy “being good” they don’t even consider the possibility that they may have festering wounds inside that need healing.
It is only when unresolved areas within are dealt with that the past can truly be put behind and we are able to run the race with endurance and assurance of God’s calling and purpose for our life.
“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,” Psalm 103:2-4
People
even in the church can behave in very unloving and ungodly ways. They
can act out in pride and holier than thou attitudes or lash out in
anger, addictions, slander and malice towards others grieving the Holy
Spirit in whom we were sealed. It’s easier to judge the sinful attitudes
and behaviors on the surface without taking a step back and gain God’s
perspective on the matter. But doesn’t Scripture tell us that God judges the heart and not the outward? .
People don’t wake one morning with a hardened heart. What could have
happened to an individual who acts out so negatively, rudely and hurts
self and others? What kind of hurts are they carrying around inside?
Please understand that whatever hurts are buried deep inside a hardened
heart does not excuse the sinful behavior. God hates sin, and we are
allowed to hate it too. Nevertheless, by peering into the heart of God
and seeing things through His eyes, it will help us understand the
reasons why people act out and will help us gain compassion and not
personalize the sinful behaviors of others. . Painful wounds in
our hearts can always be traced back to the effects of sin, whether our
own or someone else’s. Disguising pain with either good or bad habits,
or addictions create a vicious cycle of guilt and shame. Whatever the
coping mechanism, until the root of the hurt is dealt with the wound
will continue to fester allowing sinful negative behaviors to continue.
God wants to heal your broken heart. No matter what you have been
through, God is bigger than anything you have experienced or are
experiencing now. No matter where you’ve been, what you have done or
what has been done to you … the Master Healer, Jehovah Rapha, can
transform your innermost hurts into conduits of His blessings. The same
power that raised Jesus from the dead can heal and restore you. He only
asks one thing…”Do you want to be made well?” Healing is a choice. .
“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed. Get
rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, outcry and slander, along with
every form of malice. Be kind and tender-hearted to one another,
forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians
4:30-32
It’s
been said that if you live for the acceptance of others, you will die
from their rejection. If your sense of self-worth is based on the
approval of others, your value is at the mercy of what others think
about you. Your identity, who you are, how you see yourself is
determined by how others see you and respond to you. . In our brokenness, we tend to give people a lot of power. People on the outside
control my thoughts, feelings, and my will. They own me. I don’t know
who I am, and I live in fear of failing to meet their approval and being
rejected. – We need to give our fear of rejection over to the
Lord. He created us and established our worth. When we let His love pour
into us, we learn to trust Him, and He will turn our fear into faith,
and we will find full acceptance in the arms of our precious Savior. –
If you believe that you may be living for the approval of others,
evaluate the following statements and see if you identify with any of
them. – ”I am not good enough.” – “I have to try harder.” – “I have to earn love.’ – “I flatter people so they will like me.” – “I have to be perfect.” – “I always feel less than.” – “I know what I think is not important.” – “I know that I am not likable.” – “I never feel like I belong.” – “I don’t measure up.” –
If you can relate to any of the above chances are that there is a deep
root of rejection driving your need for approval and acceptance from
others. Please understand that just because you have been rejected in
the past, you don’t have to walk in fear that you will be rejected again
by others. We can be so crippled by the fear of being rejected that
without realizing it we can push others away, or create situations where
we will be rejected fulfilling a self-imposed prophecy which causes us
to continue to believe lies about ourselves and feel alone and rejected.