Get to the Root

The painful wounds in our hearts can always be traced back to the effects of sin, whether ours or someone else’s. Understanding the root of hurt is the first step to healing.

Most people run from emotional pain and try to medicate through all sorts of unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse, alcohol, anger, etc. While others stuff their pain, pretend it’s not there, pull themselves up by their bootstraps and become perfectionists, workaholics, overachievers, involve themselves in one activity after another, overextend themselves and wear themselves out.

Disguising your pain with either good or bad habits, or addictions creates a vicious cycle of guilt and shame. Whatever the coping mechanism, until the root of the hurt is dealt with the wound will continue to fester.

God wants to heal your broken heart. No matter what you have been through, God is bigger than anything you have experienced or are experiencing now. No matter where you’ve been, what you have done or what has been done to you … the Master Healer, Jehovah Rapha, can transform your innermost hurts into conduits of His blessings.

The same power that raised Jesus from the dead can heal and restore you. He only asks one thing…”Do you want to be made well?” Healing is a choice.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

When People Push Your Boundaries

Setting boundaries is such a sign of growth and God working in our lives, and if anyone ever pushes back, man oh man, well then they were someone the boundary was obviously needed for. When we realize our worth, who we are in Jesus, and what behaviors we are to allow and not allow, we will start drawing a line in the sand and begin to not be okay with behaviors that we once welcomed. If someone isn’t happy with you making them, or starts making you feel guilty because of them, or telling you that “you have changed” because of them, it is a pretty good sign you should start making a clean break from them.

Friends, we are sons and daughters of the Most High! We might have not known who we were in Christ growing up, even as Christians, but God is available now to tear down all the lies spoken into your life that made you think you deserved the behavior you were or are taking, pour Truth IN, and build you back so marvelously in HIM. People who verbally, emotionally, and physically abuse do it because a) they have deep seeded issues from their own life that has caused them to act this way, and b) because people have allowed them to continue to act this way, and friends, it stops with us. We can’t allow people to continue on in this behavior. It not only hurts us and God working in our own life, but it prevents God exposing the sin in other people’s life. He is after not just our heart, but theirs, too. He doesn’t just want to heal ours, but theirs, too. And sometimes, our boundaries are the very thing that wakes people up, and shows them their behavior isn’t okay, in our lives, or in God’s eyes.
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So if you are in situations or a relationship where you know you need to grow in this area, praise God, friend, because that is Him working and revealing that to you. We only know what we know, and sometimes, it takes a while to realize what we endure or are surrounded by just isn’t normal. So, invite God in. Get to know who you are in Him, and allow Him to give you strength in Him so you can put boundaries between you and them. And if you’ve made boundaries, and someone is pushing back, push them right out the door. Because they ain’t welcome here any more! 🙅🏼‍♀️

Suppressed Emotions

Often people who are experiencing emotional pain have difficulty expressing their feelings in a healthy way. A common cause is buried feelings due to loss or past hurts.

Ignored or denied feelings won’t go away. They are buried alive, deep inside your soul, where they fester and create an infection that produces poison in your body.

As long as emotional pain continues to be suppressed and undealt with the symptoms will only get worse such as relationship conflict, unhealthy behaviors, depression, addictions, and all sorts of other coping mechanisms that wound the heart and separate us from self, others and God. That’s why it’s so vitality important to face your feelings.

Bring your heartache and hurts, your anxiety, your fear, and frustration to Jesus. Pour out your heart to Him and receive His comfort. He alone understands the depth of your hurt and pain. His word assures us in Isaiah that He was a man of sorrows acquainted with our grief. Hold on to the assurance found in His Holy Word…

“We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. “
Hebrews 4:15-16.

If You Don’t Heal The Past It Won’t Let You Live

There Is Freedom In Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a priority…it is a true expression of agape love and it honors God.

Understanding forgiveness is key and leads us to experience the fearless freedom it offers.

Forgiveness is not minimizing, excusing, or agreeing with the offense. We must see sin for what it is and recognize who the true offender is. Remember, our fight is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual wickedness in high places…against the author of anger, fear, frustration, hurt, pain, sin and confusion.
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Separating the sin from the sinner opens up our heart to forgiveness of our fellow human beings…it allows God to shed His Healing Light and Truth on the stronghold of the offense…and the darkness loses its power.
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Forgiveness does not always lead to reconciliation. Jehovah IS Holy and He calls us to holiness. He also calls us to guard our hearts. There are certain relationships and circumstances that we should not expose ourselves to because they are not born of The Holy Spirit. We can forgive the offense…love and pray for the sinner…but must diligently separate ourselves from sin.
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If we seek God and His truth…listen to the whisper of The Holy Spirit…He will enable us to forgive others and ourselves…lead us to the people, places and situations that He ordains, according to His purpose.

We have certainly all sinned and fall short of God’s glory. But, as believers, we are to be imitators of Christ. And if we make forgiveness a priority, we will indeed experience peace, healing, wholeness and freedom…and honor Him with a clean heart.

Matthew 6:14
For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive any complaint you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Proverbs 4:23
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

Encourage One Another

It doesn’t matter how many great things we THINK about people, because they don’t hear our thoughts. What matters is how much we TELL people. I don’t know about you, but how good does it feel when you are feeling a bit down, and someone breaks into the thoughts swirling through your head, and speaks life? Something so simple, like acknowledging a new haircut, a shirt, or recent weight loss. Or telling someone how much you love their ideas, their quirky personality, or just how much you enjoy being around them. That their smile lights up a room. I think too often we keep so many of these comments to ourselves, sometimes out of fear, selfishness, or just not knowing the great impact it can have on others, or God gives us a word of encouragement in our heart for someone, but for some reason we don’t share it, not realizing how much it can truly touch that person.

We are all down here, just trying to succeed, trying to be our best selves, trying to live this life. And sometimes, the smallest dose of encouragement can create the biggest tidal wave of love in someone else’s life. God created us the same in this arena. We all want to be loved. We all want to be accepted. We all want to feel beautiful and like we matter. So why not start helping our fellow brothers and sisters to experience God’s love through us? Why not overcome the reasons why we don’t want to, and be the vessel God so wants to use? Because you never know who might just need it most on a certain day. You never know how one comment, can make a person feel SO seen and loved, on any given day.

I don’t really know why this was on my heart today. I guess because I know how much my heart swells when someone encourages me on a day I am feeling down. And it made me realize how much we ALL need to be encouraged, big and small. So look around today, who is next to you? Who could you help to feel seen? What do YOU see when you look at them? What does God see? Don’t think it one second longer. Say it. And watch what happens to that person after. ❤️

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“Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

@sarah.jean.armstrong

You Can’t Change Them

Friends, we are not the Holy Spirit. And the sooner we realize that we cannot change anyone but ourselves, the sooner we will be able to usher in the power of God to do what only He can do in someone’s life.

Trust me, I have been there. Just WANTING someone to see so badly. YEARNING for them to change. Doing ANYTHING to “help” them see.

It’s exhausting. It’s defeating, and it never works.

People are the way they are and believe the things they do for greater reasons than we can see — they didn’t just wake up one day this way. At a young age, we all usually start taking in the world through our big eyes, and teaching ourselves how to behave, act, and deal with life and issues based on how we grow up and see other people handle issues around us. You can’t force someone to see something that you grew up seeing or that God’s helped you to see. You cannot force someone to handle things the way you grew up handling them. And you can’t expect or force someone to change, just because you think they need changing.

The biggest thing you can do is truly surrender the need to change them and do things your way. To ask God what He wants, instead of focusing on what you want, even if your intentions are nothing but good. To ask God to give you patience in your heart, as He works on their heart. And to ask God help you be okay, if they aren’t ready to change and He asks you to walk away.

Sometimes people aren’t ready to change, but sometimes, WE have been the vey thing preventing the change, and all God has been waiting for us it to get out of the way, and just, PRAY. And friend, THIS is the one area I have seen some of my prayers answered the most and the power of Jesus displayed the most. And not only that, but through my prayers and seeing Jesus
work, sometimes I get changed the most!

When you surrender people to God, and go to battle in prayer, you usher in the power of the King, and friend, HE can change any person, anytime, anywhere.

Prayer is your weapon like oxygen is our air, and NOTHING can compare to it. So if this was for you, use it, breathe it, and start to believe it! ❤️

@sarah.jean.armstrong

The Hardened Heart of Self Protection

A deep wound, a broken heart, disappointments, bitterness, and unforgiveness can cause the heart to become hardened with time. It causes us to put up walls. Our defenses go up. We self-protect, and we don’t let anyone in including God.

Self-protection leaves us running on reserve and is the cause of intimacy issues and conflict in relationships. It seems that it’s easier to be hard than soft and vulnerable because we don’t want to get hurt. But you were not created to live that way. God made you to be tender and responsive.

It’s hard to shape stone. As long as your heart remains hard, you will miss out on the abundant life Jesus came to give. So let the living God come into your heart, heal your wounds and tear down your self-protection and defenses.

The amplified version of Ezekiel 11:16 says “And I will give them one heart, a new heart, and I will put a new Spirit within them, and I will take the stony, unnatural hardened heart out and give them a heart of flesh, sensitive and responsive to the touch of their God.”

Give your hurts to the Lord. Let God shape you. When you do that…He will leave His fingerprints all over your heart.

When Should You Confront Someone?

When Should We Confront Others?Many times in life, we hear things about people; and we have a choice: talk about them or go to them.The problem is: going to them makes us feel uncomfortable. We have images of high school head-to-head battle of hormones.Here’s some helpful guidance on when and how you should go to someone:• When someone is in danger. God opposes abusive behavior whether it’s self-inflicted or done by others. [Prov.24:11-12]• When a relationship is threatened. You need to confront, when necessary; to preserve the relationship. [Phil.4:2-3]• When division exists in a group. God charges us to guard and protect our relationships. It takes work. Focus on the goal of working together, forgiving, and grace. Learn each others styles. [Rom.14:-9]• When someone sins against you. [Mt.18:15]• When someone sins [Ezekiel 3:18]• When others are offended and it’s contaminating the group, others, etc. People are being taken advantage of, misguided, etc. [Gal.2:11-13]❤️Always test your heart before you approach someone. If your heart isn’t in the right place…to reveal truth in love and seek common ground…it’s not the time or you may not be the right person. See my other post about what is confrontation and what it’s not.HOW are we supposed to go to someone?1. Confront alone [Mt.18:15]2. Confront with witnesses [Mt.18:16]3. Confront before leadership [Mt.18:17]I say leadership because when these verses were written; the church body was not like what we see today.⚠️ the problem that we see often, is that people take it right to the top, and that gets this thing out of order. Instead of the idea of confrontation as a part of building the body of Christ it feels instead like persecution without trial.📕 June Hunt

Don’t Get Even Forgive

When you are hurt and you are wronged by another person, you may want to even the score. When you are damaged and broken by another person, you may want to undo the damage and fix the brokenness by getting even. However, the idea of getting even is a false idea put into your mind by Satan and his forces of deception.The truth is there is no true way of getting even with another person. There is no true way of evening up the score by hurting another person for what was done to you. There is no true way of getting even because hurting someone else does not make your own hurt go away. Hurting someone else does not fix your brokenness.Hurting someone else does not undo a wrong committed against you. However, there is a way to erase the wrong, heal the hurt, repair the damage, and fix the brokenness. You can erase the wrong, heal the hurt, repair the damage, and fix the brokenness by pushing back against wanting to get even. You can push back and heal, repair, and fix the hurt by asking Christ to push with you. You can push back by asking Christ to help you be forgiving.Certainly, the way of the world is not to forgive. The way of the world is to try to get you to even the score by doing to others the same bad things others have done to you. However, look around you. Look at the results of the way of the world. Now look within your heart where God is within. When you look within your heart…the place within you where God is found, then you will see His way is not the way of the world.God’s way is the way of giving you healing. God’s way is the way of giving you wholeness. God’s way is the way of giving you rightness. God’s way is the way of giving you peace.To go God’s way means you must use your might, use your will, and use your heart through the power of the Holy Spirit to push in His direction and ask Him to help you forgive. When you and God both push in the same direction, you win, and you do not just even the score into a tie; you do not just win by a slim margin…you win by smashing the adversary back into the ground from where the adversary slithered forward to bite you and poison you.