The strength of a life is in its roots. This is true of a physical tree, as well as metaphorically, our tree of life. The root system serves to guarantee the existence of the tree. Without healthy roots, a tree system cannot survive. They provide a firm base, an anchor for the whole structure of a tree – the trunk – the branches – leaves – fruit. They are all dependent on that healthy root system. One of the primary functions of the root system is to draw water and nourishment from the soil to feed on. This will allow our roots to grow deep to firmly establish and define us.
To live the abundant life of a believer, we must be firmly rooted in God’s love and grace. But first, we must remove and let go of the toxic things that hinder us from being who God created us to be. Shame has no room in the life of a believer. Beloved, please understand that our past does not define us. The sins that hurt us whether ours or someone else’s perpetrated against us are not who we are. They kept us from being who God created us to be causing us to adopt unhealthy coping mechanism and put up walls around our hearts to keep from being hurt. These walls kept everyone else out including God. Addiction, sexual sin, trauma, neglect, abuse, violence, betrayal, unmet needs may not be able to be erased from our minds, but we can be free of their damaging effects on our souls.
God sets us free by helping us walk through and process the pain, grieve losses, remove all the lies we have believed about ourselves and others, enabling us to offer and receive forgiveness. This releases us from the bondage of being a byproduct of our past. With certainty, research confirms we are affected by negative and hurtful experiences in our history. However, because of Christ’s sacrifice and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, we don’t have to be a slave to our past any longer. Jesus sets the captives free and firmly plants us in the nourishing soil of His unfailing love and grace so that our roots will grow deep in the truth of who we are in Him, so when the storms of life come we will not be uprooted.
A huge barrier to forgiving others is the misconception about forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration. Many people believe that by forgiving they will continue to live as doormats allowing sinful behavior when nothing has changed. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
Forgiveness focuses on the offense. It only involves one person and has nothing to do with what the other person chooses to do. Reconciliation focuses on the relationship. It requires two people engaged in the process.
Forgiveness is the choice to release the offender. Reconciliation is the choice to rejoin the offender. It’s being brought back into a relationship where there has been a wall of separation erected. Restoration is the process that makes that possible. Restoration of a relationship takes far more than forgiveness. It requires confession, repentance, and a strong commitment on both sides to work on the relationship and rebuild trust. And it often takes a much longer time.
For example, if a loved one is engaged in drugs, alcohol, abuse or some other harmful behavior they may ask us to forgive them. Of course, God’s heart is always that we forgive but if they ask that we go back to the way it was the answer is a resounding NO! That’s not what we do at all. Love holds people accountable. Love protects. We do not have to allow harmful behavior that hurt us and our families. Thus, there may be extremely toxic, unhealthy people who may need to be removed from our lives.
An example of this would be a relative who sexually molested us as a child. We can forgive them as God has called us to but having a relationship with them may endanger ourselves and others. So forgiveness does not mean we have to have any kind of relationship with the offender ever again. Forgiveness is an act of obedience that blesses the heart of our Father in Heaven and sets us free. It’s been said that sometimes you just gotta love people from a distance.” There is great wisdom in that.
Visalia Christian Reformed Church 1030 South Lindwood Street., Visalia
Tickets $25 Includes Lunch – Seating is limited
Come and invite your friends for this intimate time with the Lord Don’t forget to bring your bibles.
Come and enjoy a sweet intimate time with the Lord as we Spring Forward into a deeper relationship where life blooms
This is not just another conference; its a time of fellowship for women who are seeking an authentic and intimate relationship with the Lord. We are serious about taking off the mask that keeps us from entering into His Life. Our goal is to come alongside the body of Christ His bride as a resource for the women of His Church. We want to answer questions in which you have always longed for the answer and to minister, encourage, exhort and offer the hope of the power of Jesus to break chains, heal hearts and transform lives.
We will be hearing from two keynote speakers, spending time in worship & prayer, and getting to know the heart of God at deeper levels. We are inviting you His bride to join us! ITS TIME TO SPRING FORWARD!
For your Maker is your husband– the LORD Almighty is His name– the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth. Isaiah 54:5
This is event is put on by Women Embraced and Broken Made New Conference. Click below to register.
We are told in scripture to let go of the past and reach forward to what’s ahead. Sadly, many of God’s children cannot let go or forget the past because they have been wounded and crippled emotionally in one way or another, and the past is affecting their present life. So instead of running the Christian race they limp along the way often overcome with guilt and shame for not “getting it” like other Christians seemingly do.
Our Churches are filled with two types of emotional crippled Christians, The first have open wounds in their hearts that they medicate through negative behaviors such as addiction, immorality, anger, etc. They live in denial of their pain not realizing their destructive and hurtful behaviors have a root cause.
The second group of wounded believers is also in denial, but through sheer willpower, they have chosen to bury and rise above their past often pouring themselves into ministry, volunteer work, charities, and other busy activities out of a personal need to be needed and valued rather than a healthy heart to serve. By staying busy, they don’t have to face themselves and the wounds inside or learn to receive from others.
These two groups have one important thing in common – they have never accepted the Grace of God. Whatever they do, even spiritually, it never seems to be enough. It’s as if they have to earn God’s acceptance, and yet never feel they are good enough to receive it fully.
The first group is overcome with sinful behaviors; while the second group is so busy “being good” they don’t even consider the possibility that they may have festering wounds inside that need healing.
It is only when unresolved areas within are dealt with that the past can truly be put behind and we are able to run the race with endurance and assurance of God’s calling and purpose for our life.
“Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,” Psalm 103:2-4
even in the church can behave in very unloving and ungodly ways. They
can act out in pride and holier than thou attitudes or lash out in
anger, addictions, slander and malice towards others grieving the Holy
Spirit in whom we were sealed. It’s easier to judge the sinful attitudes
and behaviors on the surface without taking a step back and gain God’s
perspective on the matter. But doesn’t Scripture tell us that God judges the heart and not the outward? .
People don’t wake one morning with a hardened heart. What could have
happened to an individual who acts out so negatively, rudely and hurts
self and others? What kind of hurts are they carrying around inside?
Please understand that whatever hurts are buried deep inside a hardened
heart does not excuse the sinful behavior. God hates sin, and we are
allowed to hate it too. Nevertheless, by peering into the heart of God
and seeing things through His eyes, it will help us understand the
reasons why people act out and will help us gain compassion and not
personalize the sinful behaviors of others. . Painful wounds in
our hearts can always be traced back to the effects of sin, whether our
own or someone else’s. Disguising pain with either good or bad habits,
or addictions create a vicious cycle of guilt and shame. Whatever the
coping mechanism, until the root of the hurt is dealt with the wound
will continue to fester allowing sinful negative behaviors to continue.
God wants to heal your broken heart. No matter what you have been
through, God is bigger than anything you have experienced or are
experiencing now. No matter where you’ve been, what you have done or
what has been done to you … the Master Healer, Jehovah Rapha, can
transform your innermost hurts into conduits of His blessings. The same
power that raised Jesus from the dead can heal and restore you. He only
asks one thing…”Do you want to be made well?” Healing is a choice. .
“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed. Get
rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, outcry and slander, along with
every form of malice. Be kind and tender-hearted to one another,
forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians
been said that if you live for the acceptance of others, you will die
from their rejection. If your sense of self-worth is based on the
approval of others, your value is at the mercy of what others think
about you. Your identity, who you are, how you see yourself is
determined by how others see you and respond to you. . In our brokenness, we tend to give people a lot of power. People on the outside
control my thoughts, feelings, and my will. They own me. I don’t know
who I am, and I live in fear of failing to meet their approval and being
rejected. – We need to give our fear of rejection over to the
Lord. He created us and established our worth. When we let His love pour
into us, we learn to trust Him, and He will turn our fear into faith,
and we will find full acceptance in the arms of our precious Savior. –
If you believe that you may be living for the approval of others,
evaluate the following statements and see if you identify with any of
them. – ”I am not good enough.” – “I have to try harder.” – “I have to earn love.’ – “I flatter people so they will like me.” – “I have to be perfect.” – “I always feel less than.” – “I know what I think is not important.” – “I know that I am not likable.” – “I never feel like I belong.” – “I don’t measure up.” –
If you can relate to any of the above chances are that there is a deep
root of rejection driving your need for approval and acceptance from
others. Please understand that just because you have been rejected in
the past, you don’t have to walk in fear that you will be rejected again
by others. We can be so crippled by the fear of being rejected that
without realizing it we can push others away, or create situations where
we will be rejected fulfilling a self-imposed prophecy which causes us
to continue to believe lies about ourselves and feel alone and rejected.
may have done things in the past to make you feel angry, victimized,
unappreciated, and used. Indeed, you may have a valid reason to feel
You may have been taken advantage of and victimized by
others. You may have been unappreciated by others. You may have been
used by others. These are common experiences of just about all people.
However, when these kinds of occurrences happen in life we have a
choice to make. We can choose to be drawn into the darkness put upon us by others or we can choose to stay out in the light and love of Christ.
If you are truly a child of God, others may try to do things to make you angry but you do not have to respond or feel angry.
In Christ, others may try to victimize you but you do not have to be a
victim. In Christ, others may not appreciate you but you do not need the
appreciation of others.
In Christ, others may use you to their
advantage but you do not need to feel used because you have given over
all of who you are to Him who died for you.
The power we live
under in Christ is an insulating power for our hearts. This insulating
power keeps us from feeling angry, victimized, unappreciated, and used
“Above all guard your hearts, for out it flows the issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23
There is a direct correlation between relationship conflict and negative emotions. We were designed for love and intimacy. Sadly, many of us were not given healthy forms of love. So we enter relationships with baggage full of skewed love systems and unmet needs expecting the other person to meet our emotional needs. However, since unhealthy people tend to attract unhealthy individuals into their lives who enter the relationship with their own emotional baggage – unmet needs and skewed forms of love expecting us to love them as they think they should be loved, it’s a great recipe for emotional pain and conflict. People enter relationships with all kinds of learned negative patterns of behavior for dealing with relationship conflict.
The truth is we will never be able to enjoy healthy mutually satisfying relationships until we deal with the issues of our own heart. When we can identify the cause of our emotional pain, we can then process the effects they have on our life, and we can stop blaming others, take ownership of our negative feelings and behaviors and stop allowing others to control our emotions.
People are not responsible for the way they make us feel. Understanding and accepting this enables us to let others off the hook and give them permission to take ownership of their feelings and stop blaming us for how they feel. Jesus heals and restores one heart at a time.