Tag: Wounded Heart

Out of The Abundance of the Heart

There is a direct correlation between relationship conflict and negative emotions. We were designed for love and intimacy.  Sadly, many of us were not given healthy forms of love. So we enter relationships with baggage full of skewed love systems and unmet needs expecting the other person to meet our emotional needs. However, since unhealthy people tend to attract unhealthy individuals into their lives who enter the relationship with their own emotional baggage – unmet needs and skewed forms of love expecting us to love them as they think they should be loved – it’s  a great recipe for emotional pain and conflict.  People enter relationships with all kinds of learned negative patterns of behavior for dealing with relationship conflict.

The truth is we will never be able to enjoy healthy mutually satisfying relationships until we deal with the issues of our own heart. When we can identify the cause of our emotional pain, we can then process the effects they have on our life, and we can stop blaming others, take ownership of our negative feelings and behaviors and stop allowing others to control our emotions.

People are not responsible for the way they make us feel. Understanding and accepting this enables us to let others off the hook and give them permission to take ownership of their feelings and stop blaming us for how they feel.  Jesus heals and restores one heart at a time.

I Pray You Heal from Things No One Apologized for

I think one of the hardest parts of healing is acknowledging how bad it hurt in the first place. And that, the pain is still there. So often we are taught that in order to heal from things, we need to just let it be, move on, and that time heals everything, and sometimes, it can and it does. But when there is severe heartbreak, severe pain or trauma in someone’s life, it usually won’t just go away, but will lay dormant, until one day it resurfaces, affecting so many areas of our lives and relationships. We NEED to feel to heal. We NEED to let the pain out of our hearts, with or without an apology, so we can allow forgiveness and the stregnth of God to come in and restore those wounded parts of our hearts.

We were never meant to carry the pain, and many of us have become so numb to it that we don’t even realize how heavy the weight has gotten and that we still are. We were never meant to carry the wounds that someone ELSE’S pain caused when THEY hurt us. We were never meant to carry the guilt, shame, or past of what others have done to us. We have to remember that most often, people’s pain in their own lives is what caused them to act out. THEIR pain, sin, and wounds, is what caused THEM to carry their hurts out, and be thrown on us, and apology or not, we don’t have to live under the weight and hurt of what they did any longer. We get to CHOOSE to take the steps to heal, move on, and allow the love of God to heal us and make us stronger! I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but you might never get the sorry from them you feel your soul needs. You might not ever hear the words you have been praying to hear so desperately, but friend, you can trust that your God will one day deal with them justly. You can trust your God sees YOUR strength to let go and forgive today, and HE will reward YOU greatly, and continue to love you until your heart is healed completely.

You were called by God to live FREE, friend, and I pray you truly believe and receive that today, and you allow your heart to begin to truly heal so you can. Even from the things that they never apologized for. ❤️

@sarah.jean.armstrong

 

 

Abuse Isn’t Always Physical

 

When we hear the word “abuse,” most of us picture physical harm. But according to Christian counselor June Hunt, abuse is broader, it’s any pattern of behavior designed to control, demean, or dominate a spouse.

Sadly, this can happen even in Christian homes. Abuse can wear many faces:

Verbal & Emotional – cutting words, constant criticism, manipulation, silent treatment, threats.

Financial – controlling all money, hiding resources, denying access to necessities.

Spiritual – misusing Scripture or spiritual authority to control, shame, or silence.

Sexual – coercion, disrespecting boundaries, demanding intimacy without care or consent.

Physical – hitting, shoving, throwing things, using intimidation or force.

Abuse is not love. True, Christlike love “protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13). Abuse seeks to tear down and control – love builds up and protects.

Friend, if this describes your marriage, please hear this: you are not invisible to God. He sees your pain. He calls abuse what it is – wrong. He is a refuge for the oppressed (Psalm 9:9) and will make a way of escape.

You do not have to stay silent. Healing and hope are possible.

“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” – Psalm 9:9

We are here to walk with you through your healing journey.

Heal So You Don’t Bleed on Those Who Didn’t Cut You

Sometimes we can feel like we’re being strong and doing the best thing we can do by ignoring some of the hurts we’ve been blown. That, if we just get over it and never give that person or what they did a second glance or thought, it will be done with, and we’ll just, move on. But the reality is, things have wounded us don’t just go away, but end up sitting there, deep down in our hearts, and eventually end up seeping into the relationships we have now, cutting the people closest to us in areas of THEIR heart, all because we didn’t allow God to heal the wounds we took in our own.

There’s a reason why you snap at your significant other sometimes, when they didn’t do anything to warrant it.
There’s a reason you might have trust issues with those closest to you, when they’ve given you absolutely no reason to have them.

There’s a reason why sometimes you feel so down, when you have so many reasons around you to be up.

There’s a reason why you don’t want to be intimate with your husband, when he is everything you hoped for, and the man you dearly prayed for.

There’s a reason for it all, friend. And it starts with you, going back, and addressing whats been done and what you’ve gone through, so you can give it to God, and then allow the healing hand of Jesus to come in and heal and transform you.

Because God didn’t allow all that’s been done to hurt you and the relationships you are in, but to grow you, and draw you that much closer to Him, so you can shine even brighter, and reflect even more of Him. So don’t let your pain be a tool for the enemy. Let God use it to bring healing and Him, that much more glory.
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Find what’s been done, friend. Address it. And then heal from it, so your relationships won’t keep suffering because of it. 💕🙏🏼🙌🏼
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Sarah Jean Armstrong

The Pain of Emotional Abuse Can Last A Lifetime

Think of a precious child. Maybe it’s your grandchild, a friend’s little boy, the little girl you teach at Sunday school whom God leads you to lavish extra love on. Now, picture someone screaming, “You’ll never amount to anything!” “I wish you had never been born!” “You’re worthless!” into their innocent little heart. It’s unimaginable that people could hurt a child in such a way. Unfortunately, it happens every day in homes across America. And the wounds in the heart of that little child can last a lifetime. Maybe that child was you long ago.

Often, because all the child knows is abuse, they will be drawn to people in adulthood who will abuse them much in the same way where control is at the forefront of the abuse. Angry threats like “If you leave me, I’ll kill you!” Or, “You and the kids won’t get a dime from me.” Both are examples of verbal and emotional abuse and are controlling tactics in abusive relationships

Abuse can also happen without a spoken word – it can be degrading looks, threatening stares, aggressive body language or other threatening behaviors. These actions are meant to inflict fear with great success, leaving the person on the receiving end with emotional pain that stunts emotional growth.

In some circles, even Christian ones, people don’t want to talk about emotions, and when they are discussed, the importance of emotional health and wholeness is minimized. Yet, we know that with deeply wounded people, negative emotions are at the center of thinking, feeling actions, and poor choices.

Emotional abuse attacks at the core of a person’s value, crushing their confidence and chips away at their self-worth, breaking their spirit in the process. God’s word says “A cheerful heart is a good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries us the bones. “(Proverbs 17:22)

Stop the cycle. Seek help. God takes broken things and makes them whole. Run to the Balm of Gilead. Jesus is the balm who can heal the wounds of God’s children.

God Heals Wounded Hearts

 


God can heal your broken heart, you just have to be willing to surrender all the broken pieces. He makes broken things new, gives us beauty for ashes and a life of abundance and purpose beyond our pain. You may not have had a choice of becoming a victim, but you have a choice to stay one.

Give your hurts over to the One who can heal and mend your wounded heart. When you do that – Your Precious Savior will leave His fingerprints all over your heart, and you will come to a realization in the depth of your soul as Job came to know that – your Redeemer Lives! And that you are a precious child of the living God, deeply loved, who holds every one of your tears in a bottle. Let Him comfort you as He applies His soothing healing balm to your hurting heart. Jesus is the Balm of Gilead.

Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved for you are the one I praise.
Jeremiah 17:14

I have come to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds.
Psalm 147:3

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me [a]to heal the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to the captives And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are [oppressed;
Luke 4:18

Make me to hear joy and gladness, Let the bones which You have broken rejoice.

Psalm 51:8 .
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.
Psalm 51:17

Get to the Root

The painful wounds in our hearts can always be traced back to the effects of sin, whether ours or someone else’s. Understanding the root of hurt is the first step to healing.

Most people run from emotional pain and try to medicate through all sorts of unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse, alcohol, anger, etc. While others stuff their pain, pretend it’s not there, pull themselves up by their bootstraps and become perfectionists, workaholics, overachievers, involve themselves in one activity after another, overextend themselves and wear themselves out.

Disguising your pain with either good or bad habits, or addictions creates a vicious cycle of guilt and shame. Whatever the coping mechanism, until the root of the hurt is dealt with the wound will continue to fester.

God wants to heal your broken heart. No matter what you have been  through, God is bigger than anything you have experienced or are experiencing now. No matter where you’ve been, what you have done or what has been done to you … the Master Healer, Jehovah Rapha, can transform your innermost hurts into conduits of His blessings.

The same power that raised Jesus from the dead can heal and restore you. He only asks one thing…”Do you want to be made well?” Healing is a choice.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

Sometimes the Weight You Need to Lose Isn’t On Your Nody

 


But we’ll sure keep trying to focus on the outside, trying to control what we are putting in, trying to deal with this area or lose that, trying to do whatever we can to address things on outside, when all along, it’s those things on the inside that we have never addressed or gave attention to that are actually the problem. And more often than not, the inside is the very reason we constantly feel like we need to be doing so much to the outside. What is going on inside, is often the biggest reason why we struggle so much in certain areas of our minds, trying to live life.

We all have stuff. We all have junk in our hearts that have gotten stored up. And the only way to be free of the internal weight from it, is to allow Jesus to take you through it, so He can help you deal with it, and finally be free of it. And when we can finally get to that place, the place where we allow Him into the depths of our heart, parts where we rarely let anyone go, and surrender the baggage, hurts, violations, the wounds, even the guilt of what WE may have done that we are carrying, we can truly let go, and be free of the heaviness and weight that is holding us back from the life God has called us to live and that we should be living.

When people come in for counseling, most of the time they never even realize how much weight they’ve been carrying. They don’t even realize all that’s there (and I was one of them!😳🙈). They have gotten so used to it, that it’s become a part of them. And it’s crept it’s way into so many areas of their life, affecting HOW they live life and behave in relationships.

There’s a reason why we do what we do, friends. There’s a reason why we struggle in areas, or in relationships. There’s a reason for it ALL. And I want to start addressing these topics more to help you. So you’re reminded that you’re not your behaviors. Behaviors change. You’re not just a bad person, or someone who “just can’t get it right.” If you’re in Christ, you’re a child of the Living God, who is has the power to restore what is broken in all our lives. Who can heal all that was lost, and use it to glorify Him in our life! So stick around… new things coming. ❤️☝🏻🙏🏼

Counseling That Heals & Sets Free

There are many self-help books available offering various theories and approaches for overcoming negative emotions and behaviors. Modern-day psychology is valuable in understanding the soul (mind, emotions, and will). That is the area that gets sick that drives belief systems and negative emotions. The rooted systems in our life can make our souls extremely sick. A psychology approach can diagnose the problem and offer solution.

However, since the solution offered is rooted in humanism and, therefore, man-made, there is no true long-term healing that can occur. At best, it can help change behavior and give you tools for self-discipline or positive thinking. That is not freedom. There is no lasting victory because it does not deal with sin. It does not allow for the blood of Christ to cleanse us and change us. It merely puts a band-aid over symptoms. It may address anxiety, depression, outward manifestations, and symptoms of deeper issues – but often, the first solution offered is medication and never gets to the root. So people are not getting the true healing they are seeking.

As Christians, we know that only God has the power to heal us from the inside out and set us free. That is true victory. He doesn’t just change behaviors; He transforms, renews, restores, redeems, and breaks the chains of bondage. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Isaiah also tells us that God is the “Wonderful Counselor.” John 14:6 says, “the Holy Spirit is the Counselor.”

Therefore, true freedom is found only by applying biblical truths to the wounds of our hearts. Jesus is the balm of Gilead. He is the ointment that heals the wounds of God’s hurting children.

 

Do You Want To Be Made Well?

It’s easier to stuff pain inside, wear a painted smile and pretend that everything is okay, but masking issues of the heart only perpetuates our hurts.

Eventually, undealt issues spring up and defile all areas of our lives, including relationships. Inwardly our souls are crying out to be healed. At some point, we may grudgingly seek help. However, it is essential to understand that in order to be healed, we must be willing to be healed no matter how painful and difficult the journey.

Jesus asked one question to the lame man at the pool of Bethesda in John 5:2 “Do you want to be made well?” This is the pivotal question for every person seeking healing for emotional wounds. The simple truth is that not everyone wants to be made well. They may start off eager with the best intentions, emotionally feeling that they cannot go on another day, but at the end of the day, do not want to be made well, and those who do not want to get well are not going to get well.

Why would I not want to walk in the freedom from the bondage that Christ set me free from? F-E-A-R! Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of what may be uprooted and exposed, fear of pain, fear that we may have to give up (someone or something); Or we may not be desperate enough yet.

Perhaps we have grown comfortable in our dysfunction and are comfortable in a victim role. We may not have reached a breaking point yet where we face losing someone we love, such as a spouse, or a relationship, maybe even a job, our freedom, and in our minds – we tell ourselves as bad as our current situation is – “it’s not as bad as so and so’s,” or at least we know how to respond, or how to continue to do life and even serve in ministry. However, we are putting on the painted smile while living in a prison in our own minds. But make no mistake…It is never God’s fault. If we do not want to embark on the journey and “be made well,” – we won’t get well. Healing is a choice.

If you are in a place where you are desperate enough to get help and want to be made well, then I pray that nothing will hinder you from getting the healing you need and that you will encounter the Healer – your Jesus, in the deepest, most intimate way, at a heart level where change happens.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Psalm 147:3