When someone is caught up in the throes of addiction, they are in bondage. They have lost the ability to stop using altogether. Family members of loved ones trapped in the cycle and the roller coaster of addiction do not comprehend the insanity of addiction. They honestly believe that if their loved one cared about their family, they would stop. Since they don’t understand the dynamics of addiction they think they can shame, guilt, manipulate, threaten or bribe someone into quitting. What they don’t understand is that you cannot rationalize addiction. People will go insane trying to get their loved ones to stop using often caring more about the addict’s life and responsibilities than they do, and become fixated on trying to fix, change, manage and control the addicted person’s behavior. And because they think they can love someone enough for them to stop using, they often enable the bad behavior by not allowing people to suffer the consequences of their poor choices that hurt them and those around them. Thus without realizing it, they reinforce the bad behavior and offer the person in bondage no incentive to change or seek help. This allows the addiction to continue and hinders “the bottom” necessary for getting to a sweet place of brokenness and surrender required for healing and breaking free from the bondage of addiction.
Doesn’t the Bible tell us to help the needy? Yes, but it also tells us to be wise. Often our helping is actually hurting. But how do we know the difference? Helping is doing something for someone else that they are not capable of doing for themselves. Enabling is doing things for someone else that they can and should be doing for themselves. Enabling encourages and helps the addict to stay in addiction.
On the surface, the “enabler’ may appear to be doing all the right things and doing good things to stop the user from destroying themselves, but often the enabler needs as much help as the addicted person. The only difference is that one behavior looks very good on the surface while the other not so good. The truth is they both need help.
Make no mistake about it! Allowing someone to continue in their addiction without making them accountable for their destructive behavior is enabling, it’s destructive, and must be addressed. Because it hurts everyone involved and cosigns with the enemy to destroy families, relationships and separates us from God. Both sides need to take responsibility and be accountable for their side of the fence. What, they both have in common is an inner woundedness. There is a deeper issue causing the addiction and the enabling. The difference is that it’s harder for the enabler to see their need for help because the rooted issues do not manifest in seemingly negative behaviors shunned by the Church and society but are instead applauded as selfless acts of mercy and love. Enabling allows the addict and enabler to stay in bondage, preventing them from seeing their need for help, and the destructive cycle will continue for a lifetime without intervention.
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1)
“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness but rather expose them.” (Ephesians 5:11)
Hi everyone I enjoy what you guys are usually up too. This kind of clever work and coverage! Keep up the fantastic works guys I’ve you guys to my blogroll. thank you
Hello Quality articles or reviews is the main to interest the viewers to go to see the web page, that’s what this website is providing danke
Like!! Great article post.Really thank you! Really Cool.
I learn something new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon everyday.
Thank you ever so for you article post.
I very like this blog. Everything is cleared.
Your site is very helpful. Many thanks for sharing!
The other day, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iPad and
tested to see if it can survive a thirty foot drop, just so
she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now destroyed and she has 83 views.
I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!
Hey! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask.
Would you be interested in trading links or maybe guest writing a blog post or vice-versa?
My site discusses a lot of the same topics as yours and I believe we could greatly benefit from each other.
If you’re interested feel free to shoot me an e-mail. I look forward to
hearing from you! Excellent blog by the way!
Hello, I check your new stuff like every week. Your story-telling style is witty,
keep it up!
Wow, superb blog layout! How long have you been blogging for?
you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your web site is fantastic, as well as the content!
Hi there it’s me, I am also visiting this site daily,
this web site is genuinely pleasant and the users are really sharing nice thoughts.
You are so interesting! I don’t believe I have read a single
thing like this before. So great to find someone with a few genuine thoughts
on this subject. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this
up. This site is one thing that’s needed on the internet,
someone with some originality!
I am really pleased to read this webpage posts which contains lots of useful facts, thanks for providing these information.