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When Should You Confront Someone?

When Should We Confront Others?Many times in life, we hear things about people; and we have a choice: talk about them or go to them.The problem is: going to them makes us feel uncomfortable. We have images of high school head-to-head battle of hormones.Here’s some helpful guidance on when and how you should go to someone:• When someone is in danger. God opposes abusive behavior whether it’s self-inflicted or done by others. [Prov.24:11-12]• When a relationship is threatened. You need to confront, when necessary; to preserve the relationship. [Phil.4:2-3]• When division exists in a group. God charges us to guard and protect our relationships. It takes work. Focus on the goal of working together, forgiving, and grace. Learn each others styles. [Rom.14:-9]• When someone sins against you. [Mt.18:15]• When someone sins [Ezekiel 3:18]• When others are offended and it’s contaminating the group, others, etc. People are being taken advantage of, misguided, etc. [Gal.2:11-13]❤️Always test your heart before you approach someone. If your heart isn’t in the right place…to reveal truth in love and seek common ground…it’s not the time or you may not be the right person. See my other post about what is confrontation and what it’s not.HOW are we supposed to go to someone?1. Confront alone [Mt.18:15]2. Confront with witnesses [Mt.18:16]3. Confront before leadership [Mt.18:17]I say leadership because when these verses were written; the church body was not like what we see today.⚠️ the problem that we see often, is that people take it right to the top, and that gets this thing out of order. Instead of the idea of confrontation as a part of building the body of Christ it feels instead like persecution without trial.📕 June Hunt

The Most Dangerous lies Are the One We Tell Ourselves

Because with these lies, often you don’t even realize it you’re doing it. And just like with any sin, when you do it so much, you eventually get desensitized to it, losing sight of where you are because of it, and eventually, losing sight of how much you’re slowly changing because of it. Yes, we lie to ourselves a lot, primarily, to justify why we do what we do. Lies like, “My pornography doesn’t hurt anyone…”, “Well, they deserved it”, “I don’t drink that much…”, “We’re just friends”, “I deserve this”…”I’m not hurting anyone”…”I can stop any time”..or “I don’t even care.” Oh, Yes, to me, this is the most dangerous kind of lying. These are the lies that the enemy uses to lock you farther away into darkness, turn you against yourself, God, and others, and if you allow it to continue, separate you farther and farther from the Truth — Jesus.

So I want to ask you, friend, as I asked myself in writing this, are you lying to yourself about certain things? What have you been telling yourself lately? Or over and over again, where you now, almost believe it? Where you would almost get nervous or upset if someone else knew or questioned you about it? What do you KNOW you need to be truthful about, and bring to light? What do you need to let go of, that you just know isn’t right? Maybe it’s something that you just need to bring to God, that you haven’t. Maybe it’s something you need to look in the mirror and tell yourself, or perhaps another person. Whatever it is friend, don’t become callous to it. Don’t allow the enemy to put you in that hardened place, where you begin to change from the inside out because of it.

We can lie to ourselves for many reasons, but I think the biggest one is that we know we need to change some things, but we just don’t know how to start. But God does. HE knows the way out. He has the power, wisdom, and love, to SHOW you the way out. But it starts with you. It starts with inviting Him in. And allowing the Truth to seep in, so He can free you from the lies that the enemy has kept you in.

God has the keys, friend. You just have to open the door and turn on the lights.

@sarah.jean.armstrong

Let It Go!

It’s not worth holding onto. Words said, actions done. You bringing it up over and over again. Whatever it is, God saw it all and when you realize that it isn’t up to you to make someone see how much they hurt you, or punish them for what they did to you, you can truly release what’s been done and then go to God and ask Him for His guidance and help on what you should do. Maybe it’s simply to forgive them, because they just had a hard day, and it was more about them, than you. Maybe He tells you it’s time to remove them from your life because the relationship isn’t a healthy one, or a Godly one, and He doesn’t want them to continually keep hurting you. Whatever it is, whatever was said or done, it doesn’t define you, and so there is no use holding onto it, like it does, and making it a part of you. Holding on to it, thinking that you NEED to. You don’t. It’s done. It’s over. So, now it’s your turn, to do what YOU need to do to quit letting things affect you like they have, and it’s you who needs to realize that there’s so much more going on behind what’s been done or said.

We ALL make mistakes. We ALL have bad days. And sometimes, that’s all it was. A bad day for someone that escalated and got much worse, and they truly just need forgiveness and grace. Or sometimes, it was a nudge from God to wake up, realize you need to make some decisions about this person, bury the hatch, and get out of the same thoughts and situation you’ve been continually sitting in every day.

Either way, it’s time to let it go, friend. We ain’t got time to be holding onto words and things done to us that are only taking up space in our hearts, and the freedom that comes from forgiving people, moving on, and releasing what’s been done, is truly how we see more of God, and more of HIS unending grace, which is what we ALL don’t deserve, but still receive, every, single, day.

Holding on to it isn’t helping one bit. It’s time to deal with it, move on from it, and then, let it go of it.

Emotions & Your Thoughts

Emotions are tied to our thought life. Have you ever stepped back and listened to your thoughts? Have you been surprised by them and wondered where they were coming from? In his book ‚Wild at Heart,‛ John Eldredge wrote, ‚We are being lied to all the time. Yet, we never stop to say, ‘Wait a minute who else is speaking here? Where are these ideas coming from? Where are these feelings coming from?‛
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Satan is at war with God’s children. He is a crafty one and a deceiver and, he knows if he were to show up as a dark, scary figure, with a pitchfork, we would immediately flee, sensing danger. So, instead, he uses our fears, hurts, and insecurities to influence us through our thought life. He knows that if he can control our minds, he can control our behavior and, what is his most used weapon to do so? Lies! When we believe Satan’s lies, rather than God’s truth, it leads to faulty ways of thinking and wrong behaviors that enslave our souls. The only defense we have to protect our minds from being lost in the darkness of lies, is the truth: the inerrant Word of God.
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God’s word gives a detailed combat strategy for defeating the enemy. We are to pull down strongholds (rooted lies) and bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Simply put, we must replace Satan’s lies with God’s truth. If your thoughts are telling you that you are not good enough that you are unworthy that you are ugly that you will always live in fear that you will never heal or that you will always live in bondage, stop for one moment and ask yourself, ‛Whose voice am I hearing? Who is it that is telling me that?‛
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God’s word tells us that Jesus is the Good Shepherd and His sheep hear His voice and His voice protects them from the thief who wants to destroy them. Our beloved Savior would never harm His sheep by speaking such lies. If you hear that you will never amount to anything, that’s a lie from the enemy choose, instead, to listen to your Shepherd who says, ‘For I know the thoughts I have towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to bring you a future and a hope‛ (Jeremiah 29:11). The enemy is a liar and cannot stand against God’s truth.

Do You Want To Be Made Well?

It’s easier to stuff pain inside, wear a painted smile and pretend that everything is okay, but masking issues of the heart only perpetuates our hurts.

Eventually, undealt issues spring up and defile all areas of our lives, including relationships. Inwardly our souls are crying out to be healed. At some point, we may grudgingly seek help. However, it is essential to understand that in order to be healed, we must be willing to be healed no matter how painful and difficult the journey.

Jesus asked one question to the lame man at the pool of Bethesda in John 5:2 “Do you want to be made well?” This is the pivotal question for every person seeking healing for emotional wounds. The simple truth is that not everyone wants to be made well. They may start off eager with the best intentions, emotionally feeling that they cannot go on another day, but at the end of the day, do not want to be made well, and those who do not want to get well are not going to get well.

Why would I not want to walk in the freedom from the bondage that Christ set me free from? F-E-A-R! Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of what may be uprooted and exposed, fear of pain, fear that we may have to give up (someone or something); Or we may not be desperate enough yet.

Perhaps we have grown comfortable in our dysfunction and are comfortable in a victim role. We may not have reached a breaking point yet where we face losing someone we love, such as a spouse, or a relationship, maybe even a job, our freedom, and in our minds – we tell ourselves as bad as our current situation is – “it’s not as bad as so and so’s,” or at least we know how to respond, or how to continue to do life and even serve in ministry. However, we are putting on the painted smile while living in a prison in our own minds. But make no mistake…It is never God’s fault. If we do not want to embark on the journey and “be made well,” – we won’t get well. Healing is a choice.

If you are in a place where you are desperate enough to get help and want to be made well, then I pray that nothing will hinder you from getting the healing you need and that you will encounter the Healer – your Jesus, in the deepest, most intimate way, at a heart level where change happens.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Psalm 147:3

The Cure for Bitterness

When we are hurt emotionally, the fastest way to stop the emotional bleeding is to put on the band-aid of bitterness. It keeps us from feeling the pain and on guard from being hurt again. It also keeps us from feeling God at work in our lives or His call to do His work.

God’s word warns, “Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springs up and cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.” (Hebrews 12:15) Once bitterness has taken root, it causes the wound to fester and grow. Anger, depression, anxiety…all grow out of bitterness.

To get rid of the ban aid of bitterness, we need to allow God to come in and clean the wound so that it can heal properly. Because even though it’s been covered up through various coping mechanisms, it is still there, and it still hurts. Like a cut that got infected, emotional wounds have to be cleaned to get rid of the infection and heal.

Like poison, bitterness can slowly kill us. It can harden our hearts when God points it out to us, we turn our back on what we need to do to get rid of it. The good news is that we have a Savior who can heal our broken hearts and bind up our wounds to no longer have to pretend that everything is okay and stop putting on a happy face when we are crying on the inside. Take your hurts to Jesus. He can clean out the wound, causing the infection of bitterness that makes your heart sick and prevents you from giving or receiving forgiveness and living in the fullness of His love and grace.

Relationship Conflict

God cares about our relationships and wants us to be right with one another. Too often close relationships are torn apart due to hurts, misunderstandings, offenses, pride, unresolved issues, and emotions can run deep, cut at the heart filling us with bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness. And usually, it’s the relationships we treasure the most that breakdown and cause the deepest pain.

Rather than confront the issues, it may seem easier to avoid, blame others, and feel justified holding on to our hurts and anger.

Yet God calls us higher. His word says that as much as depends on us to live at peace with all people (Romans 12:18).

We need to forgive those who have wounded us and ask for forgiveness when we have wounded others. We will never be free unless we learn how to forgive and release our offenders at the foot of the cross. We need only take ownership of our wrongdoings and leave the rest at God’s feet endeavoring always to extend grace and leave the door open for reconciliation whenever possible.

Are you struggling with forgiveness?

Sometimes all it takes is to go to Jesus with a sincere heart and ask

Him to give you a willingness to forgive, make amends, and pursue peace.

A Promise of Hope for the Weary

God deals with sin. But through His Covenant of Grace, we find mercy, healing, redemption and restoration. The LORD is mighty to overcome the darkness…and He is faithful to transform the lost years into something beautiful and useful for His Kingdom.

There is ALWAYS hope when we surrender our heart and fix our eyes on Him…

Jeremiah 31:25
I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint.

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come!

Psalm 103:5
Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

Matthew 5:6
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Matthew 11:28
Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

John 4:14
But whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a fount of water springing up to eternal life.

Psalm 107:9
For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.

Isaiah 40:29
He gives strength to the weary, And to him who lacks might He increases power.

Isaiah 43:19
Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.

Jesus is the Healing Balm for Our Souls

Brokenness is a heart condition. Jesus is the remedy…and His cure guarantees eternal life!

When we invite in The Great Physician to perform His spiritual surgery, we receive a heart healing that includes redemption, restoration, rest and peace…beside the still waters of everlasting love.

Won’t you cry out to The Balm of Gilead? That He may bind and heal your wounded heart?

Psalm 30:2
O LORD my God, I cried to You for help, and You healed me.

Psalm 107:20
He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destructions.

Psalm 103:3
Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases;

Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.

Matthew 9:12
On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.”

1 Peter 2:24
who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed.

Jeremiah 8:22
Is there no balm in Gilead,
Is there no physician there?
Why then is there no recovery
For the health of the daughter of my people?

Isaiah 53:5
But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, And by His scourging we are healed.

Ho Do I Let Go of the Past?

Many believers are able to let go of the past and live and thrive in the fullness of a new life in Christ. Sadly many cannot because they have been wounded and crippled emotionally in one way or another. So instead of running the race with endurance – they limp along the way.
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There are two types of emotionally wounded believers – The first turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms,-negative behaviors – addictions, immorality, anger, etc.
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The second try to pull themselves up by the boot straps choosing to bury and rise about their past through self-efforts and busy themselves with many things including work, ministry, volunteer work, charities, always doing – often out of a need to be needed and valued rather than a healthy heart to serve. The problem is they have never dealt with the pain and believe that they are living free but are still living in bondage because deep inside they still believe the lies behind the pain.
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Both are hurting, and both are in denial. They may have different coping mechanisms but one thing in common….they have never fully accepted the Grace of God into the deeply wounded areas of their hearts.Both are hindered from living the abundant life that Jesus spoke about in John 10:10
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How do they move forward? The past must be dealt with in order to move forward. Burying it doesn’t work, stuffing doesn’t work, pretending it’s not there doesn’t work….sooner or later it unravels….the stuffing comes out in negative behaviors or even seemingly good behaviors, but at the root, there is something entirely different going on.
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Give your hurts to Jesus. Stop running and hiding from the past. Let God heal your hurts and replace the lies with the truth of who you are in Jesus. Let go. Put the past behind, reach ahead and run the race with endurance and assurance of God’s calling on our life.
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“Let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2