love in all the wrong places

Relationship Conflict

God cares about our relationships and wants us to be right with one another. Too often close relationships are torn apart due to hurts, misunderstandings, offenses, pride, unresolved issues, and emotions can run deep, cut at the heart filling us with bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness. And usually, it’s the relationships we treasure the most that breakdown and cause the deepest pain.

Rather than confront the issues, it may seem easier to avoid, blame others, and feel justified holding on to our hurts and anger.

Yet God calls us higher. His word says that as much as depends on us to live at peace with all people (Romans 12:18).

We need to forgive those who have wounded us and ask for forgiveness when we have wounded others. We will never be free unless we learn how to forgive and release our offenders at the foot of the cross. We need only take ownership of our wrongdoings and leave the rest at God’s feet endeavoring always to extend grace and leave the door open for reconciliation whenever possible.

Are you struggling with forgiveness?

Sometimes all it takes is to go to Jesus with a sincere heart and ask

Him to give you a willingness to forgive, make amends, and pursue peace.

Ho Do I Let Go of the Past?

Many believers are able to let go of the past and live and thrive in the fullness of a new life in Christ. Sadly many cannot because they have been wounded and crippled emotionally in one way or another. So instead of running the race with endurance – they limp along the way.
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There are two types of emotionally wounded believers – The first turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms,-negative behaviors – addictions, immorality, anger, etc.
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The second try to pull themselves up by the boot straps choosing to bury and rise about their past through self-efforts and busy themselves with many things including work, ministry, volunteer work, charities, always doing – often out of a need to be needed and valued rather than a healthy heart to serve. The problem is they have never dealt with the pain and believe that they are living free but are still living in bondage because deep inside they still believe the lies behind the pain.
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Both are hurting, and both are in denial. They may have different coping mechanisms but one thing in common….they have never fully accepted the Grace of God into the deeply wounded areas of their hearts.Both are hindered from living the abundant life that Jesus spoke about in John 10:10
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How do they move forward? The past must be dealt with in order to move forward. Burying it doesn’t work, stuffing doesn’t work, pretending it’s not there doesn’t work….sooner or later it unravels….the stuffing comes out in negative behaviors or even seemingly good behaviors, but at the root, there is something entirely different going on.
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Give your hurts to Jesus. Stop running and hiding from the past. Let God heal your hurts and replace the lies with the truth of who you are in Jesus. Let go. Put the past behind, reach ahead and run the race with endurance and assurance of God’s calling on our life.
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“Let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.” Hebrews 12:1-2

Healing From the Wounds of Abuse

If you have been a victim of any form of abuse, neglect, abandonment that is still affecting your life and crippling your ability to walk in the fullness of Christ, then you should consider seeking out help through Christ-centered professional or pastoral counseling to be mandatory as soon as possible.
In seeking help, seek out those persons who are specifically trained to help you deal with your particular issue and fully rely on the leading and guidance of the Holy Spirit through the inerrancy of God’s Word to help you replace the faulty message left behind by acts of abuse or neglect with God’s truth. It is the truth that sets us free. Only the authority of God’s living word has the power to heal, change and restore hearts and lives.

Other resources are available to you like support groups designed to help those who have been victimized in various ways. What you must remember is the sinfulness of other persons visited upon you is in no way an act of God. In no way were the acts of sinful abuse, neglect, and abandonment put upon you the will of God. Remember God loves you beyond measure. God wants you protected and sheltered from any form of abuse, neglect, hurt, or abandonment.

Beyond professional help and counseling, a substantial part of your life will need to be devoted to surrendering your pain and heartache to Christ. Christ is the son of a loving God. Christ and His Father in heaven possess a wrath to be visited upon those who take advantage of and hurt others. Your place is not to even the score or get revenge with others.

To find healing from the abuse, neglect, or abandonment you suffered, the focus of your life should be surrendering up your hurt and pain into Christ’s nail-scarred hands.

He Completes You

You don’t need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you completely. God’s word says that our precious Savior has made you accepted in the beloved. Ephesians 1:6

If you are looking to anyone or anything to fill and complete you other than Jesus, you will be let down, live in disappointment and blame others for your unhappiness.

How can anyone accept you completely if you can’t accept yourself? Complete acceptance of who we are only comes when we can see ourselves through the eyes of Jesus – Loved, accepted, chosen, adopted, forgiven, redeemed!

If you feel less than and think you don’t measure up get to the root! Live in the fullness of His love. Stop looking to others to meet your needs. Only the Son of the living God can meet your need for love and acceptance.

“And My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:19

From Despair to Hope

We all go through struggles and hard times. Life is not fair. There are times of sadness, despair, and regret. The Psalmist paints a picture of someone trapped in an emotional downward spiral. Everything seems overwhelming and yet, in the end, they were able to say that there is encouragement in seeking God’s help. Why? Because God hears us.

There are two types of trauma that brings the kind of despair that we read in today’s passage. There is the trauma of “not getting what we need” , and then there is the trauma of “getting something that we should have never received.” The first is the result of neglect and abandonment, the second from abuse. But the good news is that God hears us in our despair and He can help us. Life brings each of us inescapable traumas that block maturity.

God’s redemptive activity comes to us in two ways: He brings healing to our traumas, and adopts us into His family. Both ways boost us through our blocks to maturity, along the way to wholeness, With these boosts, we will be able to live from the hearts He gave us, our true identities will emerge, and our relationships with family and community will be characterized by joy.

Today, praise God for His healing. It is there for you as you bring your pain to Him. Also, praise God for His family. It is through the fellowship and love from each other that we are made whole and can experience the joy He has for us.

“Save me, O God, for the floodwaters are up to my neck. Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire; I can’t find a foothold. I am in deep water, and the floods overwhelm me. I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched. My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me.” – “Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged. For the LORD hears the cries of the needy.”
Psalms 69: 1-3, 32-33 (NLT)

A Prayer for Healing a Hurting Heart

Lord God,

I come before You with a heavy, yet willing and obedient heart. I am in pain, Lord God, and I need Your guidance, courage, and strength.

I surrender my whole heart to You and only You…I seek You and only You…I choose You and only You as my Lord and Master.

Abba Father, Cast the Light of Your Truth into the darkened shadows of my heart…identify, expose and excise the seeds and weeds of deception…the sources of pain the enemy has placed within my heart and utilized to cheat and derail me from the authentic path ordained by You for my life.

Please give me the courage to face the pain of my past…the lies, sin, shame, guilt, doubt, violations, unmet needs, injustices, rejection, fear, abandonment, abuse, pride, denial, anger, addictions, bitterness – all things the enemy has whispered into my life and utilized to create a false belief system. Father, deliver me from this bondage and reveal to me how to truly receive Your Grace…to replace the darkness with Your Everlasting Truth and Love.

As I earnestly seek Your cleansing of the corrupted soil of my heart, I realize the enemy may retaliate, but You have promised to tuck me under Your Wing, graciously giving me Your divine spiritual, emotional and physical protection, as You are The Lord of Hosts and Ruler over all principalities.

I praise You, Lord God that You are faithful and will not allow me to endure what I am unable to walk through…that You love me and will not forsake me.

I pray all these things in The Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

The Balm of Gilead

Thank the Lord our faith depends on what HE can do, and not on what we can do. If you’re walking by faith with some things in your life right now, don’t stop, friends. Don’t let go of His outstretched hand.

All God asks is that we trust Him. Trust Him with all we have. Trust Him to fulfill all our needs. And allow HIM to be our All in all. Don’t let lose sight of the Truth.

God is a good God. His heart is pure. EVERYTHING He does has purpose, and as hard as it is to remember sometimes, everything He does is filled with perfection. He is not leading you to leave you, desolate and alone. He won’t allow you to go the wrong way if you are seeking Him and His will for your life.

Trust that! Hold on to it! When we remember who He is, we can stand with confidence in what He is doing. We can know that HE is who He says He is and, that He is a GOOD GOOD God. A God who loves you so much, and if you could only see what HE sees, you would understand everything. You would understand His timing. His ways. His words. His direction. Don’t turn from Him when you are feeling lost or confused – turn TO Him, and He will bless you.

He loves you with an everlasting love. As much as the cross signifies that, He will go into even greater depths to show you all the more in this season of your life. Why? Because He loves you. Because YOU matter to Him. Because there is only one of YOU, and He longs for YOU to know His heart. To know His love. To know how valuable you are.

So rest in knowing that He sees you. He has His hand on you. He hasn’t forgotten about you, and where are you are at is not a surprise to Him. Trust Him. He is working. He is faithful and, He will show you. He will do, the impossible.

“I will trust and not be afraid.” Isaiah 12:2