Category: Biblical Counseling

You Can’t Change Them

 


Friends, we are not the Holy Spirit. And the sooner we realize that we cannot change anyone but ourselves, the sooner we will be able to usher in the power of God to do what only He can do in someone’s life.

Trust me, I have been there. Just WANTING someone to see so badly. YEARNING for them to change. Doing ANYTHING to “help” them see.

It’s exhausting. It’s defeating, and it never works.

People are the way they are and believe the things they do for greater reasons than we can see — they didn’t just wake up one day this way. At a young age, we all usually start taking in the world through our big eyes, and teaching ourselves how to behave, act, and deal with life and issues based on how we grow up and see other people handle issues around us. You can’t force someone to see something that you grew up seeing or that God’s helped you to see. You cannot force someone to handle things the way you grew up handling them. And you can’t expect or force someone to change, just because you think they need changing.

The biggest thing you can do is truly surrender the need to change them and do things your way. To ask God what He wants, instead of focusing on what you want, even if your intentions are nothing but good. To ask God to give you patience in your heart, as He works on their heart. And to ask God help you be okay, if they aren’t ready to change and He asks you to walk away.

Sometimes people aren’t ready to change, but sometimes, WE have been the vey thing preventing the change, and all God has been waiting for us it to get out of the way, and just, PRAY. And friend, THIS is the one area I have seen some of my prayers answered the most and the power of Jesus displayed the most.  And not only that, but through my prayers and seeing Jesus
work, sometimes I get changed the most!

When you surrender people to God, and go to battle in prayer, you usher in the power of the King, and friend, HE can change any person, anytime, anywhere.

Prayer is your weapon like oxygen is our air, and NOTHING can compare to it. So if this was for you, use it, breathe it, and start to believe it! ❤️

@sarah.jean.armstrong

Prayer for Emotional Healing & Strength

Oh Lord, I feel that both my heart and my life has been shattered into a thousand pieces and I don’t know what to do or which way to turn. I feel that I have no strength left and that everything in my life has become an utter failure. Have mercy on me I pray, according to Your great goodness and abundant grace.

Lord, I know that Your Word says that You will give strength to the weary and hope to the distressed and I feel both weak and in distress, and ask for Your help and strength.

Help me to wait on You, abide in You and rest in Your love, because I know that You have promised that those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength and rise up with the wings as eagles.

Thank You also, that You have promised to heal the broken-hearted and restore those that are hurting. Heal my shattered heart I pray, and restore to me the joy of my salvation. This I ask in Jesus’ name,

In Jesus name, Amen.

Sometimes the Weight You Need to Lose Isn’t On Your Nody

 


But we’ll sure keep trying to focus on the outside, trying to control what we are putting in, trying to deal with this area or lose that, trying to do whatever we can to address things on outside, when all along, it’s those things on the inside that we have never addressed or gave attention to that are actually the problem. And more often than not, the inside is the very reason we constantly feel like we need to be doing so much to the outside. What is going on inside, is often the biggest reason why we struggle so much in certain areas of our minds, trying to live life.

We all have stuff. We all have junk in our hearts that have gotten stored up. And the only way to be free of the internal weight from it, is to allow Jesus to take you through it, so He can help you deal with it, and finally be free of it. And when we can finally get to that place, the place where we allow Him into the depths of our heart, parts where we rarely let anyone go, and surrender the baggage, hurts, violations, the wounds, even the guilt of what WE may have done that we are carrying, we can truly let go, and be free of the heaviness and weight that is holding us back from the life God has called us to live and that we should be living.

When people come in for counseling, most of the time they never even realize how much weight they’ve been carrying. They don’t even realize all that’s there (and I was one of them!😳🙈). They have gotten so used to it, that it’s become a part of them. And it’s crept it’s way into so many areas of their life, affecting HOW they live life and behave in relationships.

There’s a reason why we do what we do, friends. There’s a reason why we struggle in areas, or in relationships. There’s a reason for it ALL. And I want to start addressing these topics more to help you. So you’re reminded that you’re not your behaviors. Behaviors change. You’re not just a bad person, or someone who “just can’t get it right.” If you’re in Christ, you’re a child of the Living God, who is has the power to restore what is broken in all our lives. Who can heal all that was lost, and use it to glorify Him in our life! So stick around… new things coming. ❤️☝🏻🙏🏼

Prayer for Emotional Healing & Strength

Oh Lord, I feel that both my heart and my life has been shattered into a thousand pieces and I don’t know what to do or which way to turn. I feel that I have no strength left and that everything in my life has become an utter failure. Have mercy on me I pray, according to Your great goodness and abundant grace.
Lord, I know that Your Word says that You will give strength to the weary and hope to the distressed and I feel both weak and in distress, and ask for Your help and strength.
Help me to wait on You, abide in You and rest in Your love, because I know that You have promised that those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength and rise up with the wings as eagles.
Thank You also, that You have promised to heal the broken-hearted and restore those that are hurting. Heal my shattered heart I pray, and restore to me the joy of my salvation. This I ask in Jesus’ name,
In Jesus name, Amen.

Counseling That Heals & Sets Free

There are many self-help books available offering various theories and approaches for overcoming negative emotions and behaviors. Modern-day psychology is valuable in understanding the soul (mind, emotions, and will). That is the area that gets sick that drives belief systems and negative emotions. The rooted systems in our life can make our souls extremely sick. A psychology approach can diagnose the problem and offer solution.

However, since the solution offered is rooted in humanism and, therefore, man-made, there is no true long-term healing that can occur. At best, it can help change behavior and give you tools for self-discipline or positive thinking. That is not freedom. There is no lasting victory because it does not deal with sin. It does not allow for the blood of Christ to cleanse us and change us. It merely puts a band-aid over symptoms. It may address anxiety, depression, outward manifestations, and symptoms of deeper issues – but often, the first solution offered is medication and never gets to the root. So people are not getting the true healing they are seeking.

As Christians, we know that only God has the power to heal us from the inside out and set us free. That is true victory. He doesn’t just change behaviors; He transforms, renews, restores, redeems, and breaks the chains of bondage. Psalm 147:3 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Isaiah also tells us that God is the “Wonderful Counselor.” John 14:6 says, “the Holy Spirit is the Counselor.”

Therefore, true freedom is found only by applying biblical truths to the wounds of our hearts. Jesus is the balm of Gilead. He is the ointment that heals the wounds of God’s hurting children.

 

Emotions & Your Thoughts


Emotions are tied to our thought life. Have you ever stepped back and listened to your thoughts? Have you been surprised by them and wondered where they were coming from? In his book ‚Wild at Heart,‛ John Eldredge wrote, ‚We are being lied to all the time. Yet, we never stop to say, ‘Wait a minute who else is speaking here? Where are these ideas coming from? Where are these feelings coming from?‛
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Satan is at war with God’s children. He is a crafty one and a deceiver and, he knows if he were to show up as a dark, scary figure, with a pitchfork, we would immediately flee, sensing danger. So, instead, he uses our fears, hurts, and insecurities to influence us through our thought life. He knows that if he can control our minds, he can control our behavior and, what is his most used weapon to do so? Lies! When we believe Satan’s lies, rather than God’s truth, it leads to faulty ways of thinking and wrong behaviors that enslave our souls. The only defense we have to protect our minds from being lost in the darkness of lies, is the truth: the inerrant Word of God.
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God’s word gives a detailed combat strategy for defeating the enemy. We are to pull down strongholds (rooted lies) and bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Simply put, we must replace Satan’s lies with God’s truth. If your thoughts are telling you that you are not good enough that you are unworthy that you are ugly that you will always live in fear that you will never heal or that you will always live in bondage, stop for one moment and ask yourself, ‛Whose voice am I hearing? Who is it that is telling me that?‛
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God’s word tells us that Jesus is the Good Shepherd and His sheep hear His voice and His voice protects them from the thief who wants to destroy them. Our beloved Savior would never harm His sheep by speaking such lies. If you hear that you will never amount to anything, that’s a lie from the enemy choose, instead, to listen to your Shepherd who says, ‘For I know the thoughts I have towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to bring you a future and a hope‛ (Jeremiah 29:11). The enemy is a liar and cannot stand against God’s truth.

Bitterness

When we are hurt emotionally, the fastest way to stop the emotional bleeding is to put on the band-aid of bitterness. It keeps us from feeling the pain and on guard of being hurt again. It also keeps us from feeling God at work in our lives or His call to do His work.

God’s word warns “Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springs up and cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.” (Hebrews 12:15) Once bitterness has taken root it causes the wound to fester and grow. Anger, depression, anxiety…all grow out of bitterness.

To get rid of the ban aid of bitterness we need to allow God to come in and clean the wound so that it can heal properly. Because even though it’s been covered up through various coping mechanisms, is still there and it still hurts. Just like a cut that got infected, emotional wounds have to be cleaned so we can get rid of the infection and heal.

Like poison bitterness can slowly kill us. It can harden our hearts to where when God points it out to us we turn our back on what we need to do to get rid of it. The good news is that we have a Savior who can heal our broken hearts and bind up our wounds so that we no longer have to pretend that everything is okay and stop putting on a happy face when we are crying on the inside. Take your hurts to Jesus. He can clean out the wound causing the infection of bitterness that is making you heart sick and preventing you from giving or receiving forgiveness and living in the fullness of His love and grace.

Do You Want To Be Made Well?

Jesus asked one question to the lame man at the pool of Bethesda in John 5:2 “Do you want to be made well?” This is the pivotal question for every person seeking healing for emotional wounds. The simple truth is that not everyone wants to be made well. They may start off eager with the best intentions, feeling emotionally that they cannot go on another day, but at the end of the day, do not want to be made well, and those who do not want to get well are not going to get well.

Why would I not want to walk in the freedom from the bondage that Christ set me free from? F-E-A-R! Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of what may be uprooted and exposed, fear of pain, fear that we may have to give up (someone or something); Or we may not be desperate enough yet.

Perhaps we have grown comfortable in our dysfunction and are comfortable in a victim role. We may not have reached a breaking point yet where we face losing someone we love, such as a spouse, or a relationship, maybe even a job, our freedom, and in our minds – we tell ourselves as bad as our current situation is – “it’s not as bad as so and so’s”, or at least we know how to respond, or how to continue to do life and even serve in ministry. However, we are putting on the painted smile while living in a prison in our own mind. But make no mistake…It is never God’s fault. If we do not want to embark on the journey and “be made well” – we won’t get well. Healing is a choice.

If you are in a place where you are desperate enough to get help and want to be made well then I pray that nothing will hinder you from getting the healing that you need and will encounter the Healer in a deep and intimate way.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Psalm 147:3

The Band-Aid of Bitterness

When we are hurt emotionally, the fastest way to stop the emotional bleeding is to put on the band-aid of bitterness. It keeps us from feeling the pain and on guard of being hurt again. It also keeps us from feeling God at work in our lives or His call to do His work.

God’s word warns “Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springs up and cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.” (Hebrews 12:15) Once bitterness has taken root it causes the wound to fester and grow. Anger, depression, anxiety…all grow out of bitterness.

To get rid of the ban aid of bitterness we need to allow God to come in and clean the wound so that it can heal properly. Because even though it’s been covered up through various coping mechanisms, is still there and it still hurts. Just like a cut that got infected, emotional wounds have to be cleaned so we can get rid of the infection and heal.

Like poison bitterness can slowly kill us. It can harden our hearts to where when God points it out to us we turn our back on what we need to do to get rid of it. The good news is that we have a Savior who can heal our broken hearts and bind up our wounds so that we no longer have to pretend that everything is okay and stop putting on a happy face when we are crying on the inside. Take your hurts to Jesus. He can clean out the wound causing the infection of bitterness that is making you heart sick and preventing you from giving or receiving forgiveness and living in the fullness of His love and grace.

When Others Hurt Us

Others may have done things in the past to make you feel angry, victimized, unappreciated, and used. Indeed, you may have a valid reason to feel anger.

You may have been taken advantage of and victimized by others. You may have been unappreciated by others. You may have been used by others. These are common experiences of just about all people.

However, when these kinds of occurrences happen in life we have a choice to make. We can choose to be drawn into the darkness put upon us by others or we can choose to stay out in the light and love of Christ.

If you are truly a child of God, others may try to do things to make you angry but you do not have to respond or feel angry.

In Christ, others may try to victimize you but you do not have to be a victim. In Christ, others may not appreciate you but you do not need the appreciation of others.

In Christ, others may use you to their advantage but you do not need to feel used because you have given over all of who you are to Him who died for you.

The power we live under in Christ is an insulating power for our hearts. This insulating power keeps us from feeling angry, victimized, unappreciated, and used by others.

“Above all guard your hearts, for out it flows the issues of life.” (Proverbs 4:23