Category: Christ Centered Counseling

There Is Freedom In Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a priority…it is a true expression of agape love and it honors God.

Understanding forgiveness is key and leads us to experience the fearless freedom it offers.

Forgiveness is not minimizing, excusing, or agreeing with the offense. We must see sin for what it is and recognize who the true offender is. Remember, our fight is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual wickedness in high places…against the author of anger, fear, frustration, hurt, pain, sin and confusion.
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Separating the sin from the sinner opens up our heart to forgiveness of our fellow human beings…it allows God to shed His Healing Light and Truth on the stronghold of the offense…and the darkness loses its power.
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Forgiveness does not always lead to reconciliation. Jehovah IS Holy and He calls us to holiness. He also calls us to guard our hearts. There are certain relationships and circumstances that we should not expose ourselves to because they are not born of The Holy Spirit. We can forgive the offense…love and pray for the sinner…but must diligently separate ourselves from sin.
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If we seek God and His truth…listen to the whisper of The Holy Spirit…He will enable us to forgive others and ourselves…lead us to the people, places and situations that He ordains, according to His purpose.

We have certainly all sinned and fall short of God’s glory. But, as believers, we are to be imitators of Christ. And if we make forgiveness a priority, we will indeed experience peace, healing, wholeness and freedom…and honor Him with a clean heart.

Matthew 6:14
For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Ephesians 4:32
Be kind and tender-hearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive any complaint you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Proverbs 4:23
Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

You Can’t Change Them

 


Friends, we are not the Holy Spirit. And the sooner we realize that we cannot change anyone but ourselves, the sooner we will be able to usher in the power of God to do what only He can do in someone’s life.

Trust me, I have been there. Just WANTING someone to see so badly. YEARNING for them to change. Doing ANYTHING to “help” them see.

It’s exhausting. It’s defeating, and it never works.

People are the way they are and believe the things they do for greater reasons than we can see — they didn’t just wake up one day this way. At a young age, we all usually start taking in the world through our big eyes, and teaching ourselves how to behave, act, and deal with life and issues based on how we grow up and see other people handle issues around us. You can’t force someone to see something that you grew up seeing or that God’s helped you to see. You cannot force someone to handle things the way you grew up handling them. And you can’t expect or force someone to change, just because you think they need changing.

The biggest thing you can do is truly surrender the need to change them and do things your way. To ask God what He wants, instead of focusing on what you want, even if your intentions are nothing but good. To ask God to give you patience in your heart, as He works on their heart. And to ask God help you be okay, if they aren’t ready to change and He asks you to walk away.

Sometimes people aren’t ready to change, but sometimes, WE have been the vey thing preventing the change, and all God has been waiting for us it to get out of the way, and just, PRAY. And friend, THIS is the one area I have seen some of my prayers answered the most and the power of Jesus displayed the most.  And not only that, but through my prayers and seeing Jesus
work, sometimes I get changed the most!

When you surrender people to God, and go to battle in prayer, you usher in the power of the King, and friend, HE can change any person, anytime, anywhere.

Prayer is your weapon like oxygen is our air, and NOTHING can compare to it. So if this was for you, use it, breathe it, and start to believe it! ❤️

@sarah.jean.armstrong

Prayer for Emotional Healing & Strength

Oh Lord, I feel that both my heart and my life has been shattered into a thousand pieces and I don’t know what to do or which way to turn. I feel that I have no strength left and that everything in my life has become an utter failure. Have mercy on me I pray, according to Your great goodness and abundant grace.

Lord, I know that Your Word says that You will give strength to the weary and hope to the distressed and I feel both weak and in distress, and ask for Your help and strength.

Help me to wait on You, abide in You and rest in Your love, because I know that You have promised that those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength and rise up with the wings as eagles.

Thank You also, that You have promised to heal the broken-hearted and restore those that are hurting. Heal my shattered heart I pray, and restore to me the joy of my salvation. This I ask in Jesus’ name,

In Jesus name, Amen.

Have You Ever Had A Crushed Spirit?

Disappointment. Grief. Pain. Sorrow. Strife. Broken relationships.

All of these in isolation, or all together, are enough to crush even the strongest among us. And a crushed spirit can often last much longer than any sickness. Illnesses often have cures or medicine to alleviate the pain. A crushed spirit knows no such relief. Or does it?

Psalm 34:18 says that the Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves the crushed in spirit. The psalmist goes on to say that while the afflictions of the righteous are many, the Lord delivers him out of them all.

The proverb is true. We cannot bear a crushed spirit. But God can. While we would break under the sheer weight of such sorrow, God upholds us. And we are not alone. God knows our circumstances and is there to deliver us. Is it always immediate? No, but it will happen one day. While he will always be near to us in our moments of deepest suffering, he might not deliver us right away. Deliverance is coming, and while we wait for that day his promise to be near sustains us.

But there is something even more profound about this God who is near to the crushed in spirit. He knows the crushing blows intimately well. How can we know this? Because he crushed his own Son for our deliverance. The Savior, God the Son, was crushed for us. The Father was momentarily separated from him so we would always be near him. No one ever experienced a more crushed spirit than Christ on that day on the cross, all so we would never face such wrath and condemnation. Our ultimate deliverance from pain and sorrow is sure because the cross is sure. Psalm 34:18 is true because the cross is true.

A crushed spirit is impossible to bear; this is true. But by God’s grace and kindness, we do not have to bear such crushing blows alone. We have a God who not only promises his presence in every pain but also knows our pain most intimately. A crushed spirit only God can bear, and he daily bears us up.

Sometimes the Weight You Need to Lose Isn’t On Your Nody

 


But we’ll sure keep trying to focus on the outside, trying to control what we are putting in, trying to deal with this area or lose that, trying to do whatever we can to address things on outside, when all along, it’s those things on the inside that we have never addressed or gave attention to that are actually the problem. And more often than not, the inside is the very reason we constantly feel like we need to be doing so much to the outside. What is going on inside, is often the biggest reason why we struggle so much in certain areas of our minds, trying to live life.

We all have stuff. We all have junk in our hearts that have gotten stored up. And the only way to be free of the internal weight from it, is to allow Jesus to take you through it, so He can help you deal with it, and finally be free of it. And when we can finally get to that place, the place where we allow Him into the depths of our heart, parts where we rarely let anyone go, and surrender the baggage, hurts, violations, the wounds, even the guilt of what WE may have done that we are carrying, we can truly let go, and be free of the heaviness and weight that is holding us back from the life God has called us to live and that we should be living.

When people come in for counseling, most of the time they never even realize how much weight they’ve been carrying. They don’t even realize all that’s there (and I was one of them!😳🙈). They have gotten so used to it, that it’s become a part of them. And it’s crept it’s way into so many areas of their life, affecting HOW they live life and behave in relationships.

There’s a reason why we do what we do, friends. There’s a reason why we struggle in areas, or in relationships. There’s a reason for it ALL. And I want to start addressing these topics more to help you. So you’re reminded that you’re not your behaviors. Behaviors change. You’re not just a bad person, or someone who “just can’t get it right.” If you’re in Christ, you’re a child of the Living God, who is has the power to restore what is broken in all our lives. Who can heal all that was lost, and use it to glorify Him in our life! So stick around… new things coming. ❤️☝🏻🙏🏼

Do You Want to Be Made Well?

Jesus asked one question to the lame man at the pool of Bethesda in John 5:2: “Do you want to be made well?” This is the pivotal question for every person seeking healing for emotional wounds. The simple truth is that not everyone wants to be made well. They may start off eager with the best intentions, feeling emotionally that they cannot go on another day, but at the end of the day, do not want to be made well, and those who do not want to get well are not going to get well.

Why would I not want to walk in the freedom from the bondage that Christ set me free from? F-E-A-R! Fear of the unknown, fear of rejection, fear of what may be uprooted and exposed, fear of pain, fear that we may have to give up (someone or something); Or we may not be desperate enough yet.

Perhaps we have grown comfortable in our dysfunction and are comfortable in a victim role. We may not have reached a breaking point yet where we face losing someone we love, such as a spouse, or a relationship, maybe even a job, our freedom, and in our minds – we tell ourselves as bad as our current situation is – “it’s not as bad as so and so’s”, or at least we know how to respond, or how to continue to do life and even serve in ministry. However, we are putting on the painted smile while living in a prison in our own mind. But make no mistake…It is never God’s fault. If we do not want to embark on the journey and “be made well” – we won’t get well. Healing is a choice.

If you are in a place where you are desperate enough to get help and want to be made well then I pray that nothing will hinder you from getting the healing that you need and will encounter the Healer in a deep and intimate way.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Psalm 147:3

 

Emotions & Your Thoughts


Emotions are tied to our thought life. Have you ever stepped back and listened to your thoughts? Have you been surprised by them and wondered where they were coming from? In his book ‚Wild at Heart,‛ John Eldredge wrote, ‚We are being lied to all the time. Yet, we never stop to say, ‘Wait a minute who else is speaking here? Where are these ideas coming from? Where are these feelings coming from?‛
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Satan is at war with God’s children. He is a crafty one and a deceiver and, he knows if he were to show up as a dark, scary figure, with a pitchfork, we would immediately flee, sensing danger. So, instead, he uses our fears, hurts, and insecurities to influence us through our thought life. He knows that if he can control our minds, he can control our behavior and, what is his most used weapon to do so? Lies! When we believe Satan’s lies, rather than God’s truth, it leads to faulty ways of thinking and wrong behaviors that enslave our souls. The only defense we have to protect our minds from being lost in the darkness of lies, is the truth: the inerrant Word of God.
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God’s word gives a detailed combat strategy for defeating the enemy. We are to pull down strongholds (rooted lies) and bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Simply put, we must replace Satan’s lies with God’s truth. If your thoughts are telling you that you are not good enough that you are unworthy that you are ugly that you will always live in fear that you will never heal or that you will always live in bondage, stop for one moment and ask yourself, ‛Whose voice am I hearing? Who is it that is telling me that?‛
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God’s word tells us that Jesus is the Good Shepherd and His sheep hear His voice and His voice protects them from the thief who wants to destroy them. Our beloved Savior would never harm His sheep by speaking such lies. If you hear that you will never amount to anything, that’s a lie from the enemy choose, instead, to listen to your Shepherd who says, ‘For I know the thoughts I have towards you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to bring you a future and a hope‛ (Jeremiah 29:11). The enemy is a liar and cannot stand against God’s truth.

Overcoming Trauma

We all go through struggles and hard times. Life is not fair. There are times of sadness, despair, and regret. The Psalmist paints a picture of someone trapped in an emotional downward spiral. Everything seems overwhelming and yet, in the end, they were able to say that there is encouragement in seeking God’s help. Why? Because God hears us.

There are two types of trauma that brings the kind of despair that we read in today’s passage. There is the trauma of “not getting what we need” , and then there is the trauma of “getting something that we should have never received.” The first is the result of neglect and abandonment, the second from abuse. But the good news is that God hears us in our despair and He can help us. Life brings each of us inescapable traumas that block maturity. God’s redemptive activity comes to us in two ways: He brings healing to our traumas, and adopts us into His family. Both ways boost us through our blocks to maturity, along the way to wholeness, With these boosts, we will be able to live from the hearts He gave us, our true identities will emerge, and our relationships with family and community will be characterized by joy.

Today, praise God for His healing. It is there for you as you bring your pain to Him. Also, praise God for His family. It is through the fellowship and love from each other that we are made whole and can experience the joy He has for us.

“Save me, O God, for the floodwaters are up to my neck. Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire; I can’t find a foothold. I am in deep water, and the floods overwhelm me. I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched. My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me.” – “Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged. For the LORD hears the cries of the needy.” Psalms 69: 1-3, 32-33 (NLT)

The Pain of Unmet Needs

The pain of unmet needs, thoughtless words, hurtful actions, to overt abuse can linger for a lifetime manifesting in various negative, behaviors such as addiction, unhealthy relationship, and abusive patterns. This toxic system can pollute everything around us and

Behind the violation and the physical pain of the trauma of abuse, there is a message that was sent to the hearts of victims that have left deep open wounds which continue to fester. These messages speak lies to us and skew beliefs about ourselves and others. These lies lead our wounded hearts to adopt faulty reactions and faulty behaviors to hide our intense hurt and build walls that act as barriers to intimacy with God. Yet the Lord lovingly uses our current struggles, failures, and our problem relationships to reveal unresolved emotional pain as God calls each one of us to account. His desire is to break down those walls of self-protection and heal our hurting hearts in order to set us free. Take a moment to meditate on the following scripture and let it resonate deeply in your hearts.

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me because He has anointed Me To preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted And recovery of sight to the blind, To set at liberty those who are oppressed.”
Luke 4:18

If you have found yourself the prisoner of a painful past, there is hope for your hurting heart. God’s word says…

“In all things give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18

No trial – no abuse is wasted. Your pain doesn’t have to be pointless; it can be full of purpose. Because you know the pain of abuse you have the ability to have compassion for others who have been wounded and abused. Thank God for what He is teaching you through the very difficult situation and the pain. Allow the Lord to take your pain and turn it into a precious ministry – a ministry of compassion to comfort and exhort others who are hurting.

Ge to the Root!!

Fear, betrayal, rejection, anger, unforgiveness, addictions, unhealthy relationships and relationship conflict, are just some of the real life struggles facing God’s children today.

Our churches are filled with believers who love Jesus, but are often overwhelmed and weighed down; bound up and defeated by life’s issues. So many are unable to live a truly abundant life in Christ and run the Christian race with endurance. These beloved brethren have this in common—they are painfully unaware that the untended roots from the past are creating issues in the present, and are preventing them from thriving in the fullness of God.

God’s children are in desperate need of practical, step by step, biblical solutions. Hurting Hearts Restored offers that hand of help. Written according to God’s powerful Word and inspired by the promptings of The Holy Spirit, this book is intended to lead you into God’s unending love and grace—to His perfect plan for you—life more abundantly! Filled with easily understood explanations, examples, journal questions, and real-life stories, Hurting Hearts Restored will walk you through the healing process — a journey with Jesus into the depth of your heart where change happens, page-by-page, with all the resources you need to get to the roots that bind.

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”
John 10:10